As I plugged in my disc-man to start playing the dazzling new CD of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, my heart was beating faster than usual, sometimes with anticipation, sometimes with huge expectation or sometimes, with sheer excitement. This Karan Johar film is easily the most awaited Hindi Motion picture of the year. With the stellar ensemble starcast, the curiosity value of the film is at an all time high and with the eclectic trio of Shankar Ehsaan Loy behind the music and with Javed Akhtar saab with the pen, the music has a magnanimous hype about it… the big question is… does KANK live upto the expectations, in terms of music… the answer is a huge YES!!!
The album begins with the hauntingly sad title track. Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is wonderfully worded by Javed saab and excellently crooned by the oh-so-saccharine voice of Sonu Nigam. Though arrangement wise the song goes dangerously close to the Kal Ho Naa Ho title track, it has an altogether different setting. Alka Yagnik provides perfect support to Sonu as SEL come up with an absolutely chartbuster title track.
If you thought that the title song is one of the best tracks of recent times, listen to MITWA, track number 2, which will certainly be song number 1 for at least 15 weeks from now. Sung brilliantly by Shafqat Amanat Ali, the lead singer of Pakistani band, Fuzon and Caralisa crooning the English bit of the track. This song is totally rocking and is a result of some fantastic teamwork by SEL and Javed saab. If you want to hear what a rocking song is… listen to Mitwa.
Electronic sounds and swinging beats set your feet tapping as the third song starts. Where’s the Party tonight? Follows suite of the Bumper hit ‘It’s the time to disco’ from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Wait for the video to come out and be assured that here is another song that can stay up on the charts for long.
Can’t imagine a Karan Johar film without a typical, sugar sweet, lovey-dovey romantic track? Well, the answer lies in an extremely romantic and wonderfully orchestered Tumhi Dekho Na which reminds us of Kuch to Hua Hai from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Sonu Nigam and Alka Yagnik make this song memorable with their honey sweet renditions.
As Shankar Mahadevan croons Rock n Roll Soniye, it is evident that this is one song picturized on Big B who heads the enigmatic starcast of KANK. The song is particularly funky and reminds us of Say Shava Shava from K3G.
The remixed Mitwa Revisited is as delectable as the original. The Farewell trance is melodious.
On a whole, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is one helluva rockin album.
Go For It. Highly recommended.
My Rating: * * * * 1/2
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
PHIR HERA PHERI: I wish they were content with their first HERA PHERI!
When Hera Pheri had released a few years back with almost nil publicity and hype around it, it went on to crash box office records and laughed its way into the hearts of millions of fans who still watch the film twice a year on Television. Hera Pheri succeeded in giving us what can be safely called a cult comedy bollywood film. Obviously the sequel, Phir Hera Pheri was eagerly awaited and the mammoth box office collections over the first weekend just go a step further to cement the fact that PHP is one of the most anticipated films of the year. So the question on everybody’s mind is… Is PHP worth it? Does it live the legacy of its amazingly funny and well crafted predecessor?
The answer unfortunately is a big NO. Why? Read on.
PHP begins with an item number starring a majorly miscast Dia Mirza alongwith the opening credits. We can see Paresh Rawal, dressed in a rich dhoti-kurta armed with gold ornaments, splurging extraordinarily high amounts of money as she garners ceetees from the gallery for her thumkas and latkas. This just establishes the fact that the trio (Paresh ‘i-am-cast-only-in-comedies’ Rawal, Akshay ‘What-am-I-doing-here?’ Kumar and Suneil ‘I-am-the-most-wooden-actor-of all times’ Shetty) have become very rich from their endeavor in the first installment of HERA PHERI. They have a palatial bungalow complete with a swimming pool and a swanky troupe of cars. Though all this cannot be afforded in the amount of money they made in HP, we still throw logic out of the window and believe that they actually got rich. Anyways, what happens next is that Akshay Kumar invests all their property and cash in a Double-your-money scheme which is operated by Bipasha Basu. In order to fulfil the basic investment 1 crore formula Akshay ropes in an underworld don’s sidekick Rajpal Yadav. Now as expected, Bipasha turns out to be a con-woman and thus the trio are back on the streets. As Underworld, drug peddlers get involved in the scene, PHP reaches its finale in true Priyan style. Confusion surmounts as everything comes together in a circus to lead to what the director thought was a ‘hilarious’ climax.
PHP fails majorly because it doesn’t make you laugh. It tries very hard but succeeds only in a couple of sequences. Though PHP assures you at least 5 genuine laughs, they are not worthy of the 3 hours you dedicate to the film. The climax in the circus is easily the most illogical and stupid one ever witnessed on the Indian screen, we don’t enjoy it, except for the absolutely hilarious sequence in the house of mirrors.
Technically the film doesn’t look nice. It has tacky cinematography and lighting errors are blatantly eminent throughout the films. Screenplay-wise, Writer-Director Neeraj Vora tries to package in almost all ingredients of a masala film in this resulting into a chaotic, half baked effort. The second half of the film tests your patience and is easily one of the worst movie second halves in recent times. Editing is shoddy. Background music as well as songs are totally crappy as neither have the power to sustain the going ons. Direction wise, Neeraj Vora is just about OK.
Performance wise, none of the stellar star-cast stay with you after the show is over. Paresh Rawal hams. Akshay Kumar hams. Suniel Shetty doesn’t do much but groan his dialogues and do his routine ‘not-doing-anything’. Bipasha and Rimi are just glam dolls of the enterprise. Rajpal Yadav is sincere but not competent. Johhny Lever is wasted. The supporting cast is not effective either.
All in all, PHP is not worth the 50 bucks you would spend on it. Wait till it comes on TV. The advantage of watching it on TV is that atleast you can change channels when you get bored.
NOT RECOMMENDED.
My Rating: * 1/2
The answer unfortunately is a big NO. Why? Read on.
PHP begins with an item number starring a majorly miscast Dia Mirza alongwith the opening credits. We can see Paresh Rawal, dressed in a rich dhoti-kurta armed with gold ornaments, splurging extraordinarily high amounts of money as she garners ceetees from the gallery for her thumkas and latkas. This just establishes the fact that the trio (Paresh ‘i-am-cast-only-in-comedies’ Rawal, Akshay ‘What-am-I-doing-here?’ Kumar and Suneil ‘I-am-the-most-wooden-actor-of all times’ Shetty) have become very rich from their endeavor in the first installment of HERA PHERI. They have a palatial bungalow complete with a swimming pool and a swanky troupe of cars. Though all this cannot be afforded in the amount of money they made in HP, we still throw logic out of the window and believe that they actually got rich. Anyways, what happens next is that Akshay Kumar invests all their property and cash in a Double-your-money scheme which is operated by Bipasha Basu. In order to fulfil the basic investment 1 crore formula Akshay ropes in an underworld don’s sidekick Rajpal Yadav. Now as expected, Bipasha turns out to be a con-woman and thus the trio are back on the streets. As Underworld, drug peddlers get involved in the scene, PHP reaches its finale in true Priyan style. Confusion surmounts as everything comes together in a circus to lead to what the director thought was a ‘hilarious’ climax.
PHP fails majorly because it doesn’t make you laugh. It tries very hard but succeeds only in a couple of sequences. Though PHP assures you at least 5 genuine laughs, they are not worthy of the 3 hours you dedicate to the film. The climax in the circus is easily the most illogical and stupid one ever witnessed on the Indian screen, we don’t enjoy it, except for the absolutely hilarious sequence in the house of mirrors.
Technically the film doesn’t look nice. It has tacky cinematography and lighting errors are blatantly eminent throughout the films. Screenplay-wise, Writer-Director Neeraj Vora tries to package in almost all ingredients of a masala film in this resulting into a chaotic, half baked effort. The second half of the film tests your patience and is easily one of the worst movie second halves in recent times. Editing is shoddy. Background music as well as songs are totally crappy as neither have the power to sustain the going ons. Direction wise, Neeraj Vora is just about OK.
Performance wise, none of the stellar star-cast stay with you after the show is over. Paresh Rawal hams. Akshay Kumar hams. Suniel Shetty doesn’t do much but groan his dialogues and do his routine ‘not-doing-anything’. Bipasha and Rimi are just glam dolls of the enterprise. Rajpal Yadav is sincere but not competent. Johhny Lever is wasted. The supporting cast is not effective either.
All in all, PHP is not worth the 50 bucks you would spend on it. Wait till it comes on TV. The advantage of watching it on TV is that atleast you can change channels when you get bored.
NOT RECOMMENDED.
My Rating: * 1/2
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Chup Chup Ke: Been There, Seen That.
Filmmaker: Karan Johar
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, tissues, Punjabi Families, New York, Shahrukh Khan.
Filmmaker: Yash Chopra
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, rumaals, Sarso ke khet, Punjab, Chiffon Saris, Introduction rain song for the leading lady,
Filmmaker: Ramgopal Verma
Bollywood Cliché: Horror, Underworld, Stupid climaxes (cinematic, of course), Urmila, Nisha or Antara (Any one of these, unless he decides to remake Charlie’s angels)
And here is the latest entrant in the club of successful B’wood cliché makers…
Filmmaker: Priyadarshan
Bollywood Cliché: Mindless comedy, confusion, Paresh Rawal, Suniel Shetty, Bad music, dollops of emotions in the second half.
Well, First things first. Priyadarshan, yes, the same director who gave us brilliant films like Gardish, Hera Pheri and Virasat seems to have been too taken over by the I-Am-The-King-Of-Bollywood Cliché syndrome, because of which his films have become all sass, no substance; all jazz, no consistence; all crass, no exuberance; all harass, no relevance.
As I sauntered into the hall to watch The Crème de la Crème show of Chup Chup Ke, I had absolutely a clear idea of what was about to unfurl on the screen, but still, when you go to watch a master director’s film, you still feel that maybe, just, maybe he has found his calling… maybe he has found that lost touch, maybe, Chup Chup Ke turns out to be another Hera Pheri.
Unfortunately, all hopes belied me as Chup Chup Ke turned out to be the same rehashed version of the many Priyan films that have come out in the last 4 years. A bit of Hungama, a dash of Hulchul, a tinge of Garam Masala, a stupid looking Shahid thrown in to make things worse and VOILA! You have Chup Chup Ke.
Frankly Chup Chup Ke excited me as much as a plate of Chicken Tikka would excite a 70 yr old Pure Vegetarian Brahmin. It has nothing new to offer. If you are game to senseless, mindless comedy, this is the film you should be watching.
It is basically a story of a Bengali fisherman Gundya(Paresh Rawal) who owes a huge amount of money to a Gujarati businessman (Om Puri). Om Puri has a 70 mm, straight out of Rajshri Productions’ movie’s family. Kareena and Neha Dhupia are two sisters in arms who actually do nothing but roam around in designer Punjabi suits and having a look at things around them with a face that suggest amazing alienity to the happenings. And yes, the ‘I-am-so-wooden’ Suneil Shetty is the typical filmy Bada Bhai to Pyari behna Kareena Kapoor. For record and luckily for all of us, Kareena is mute sparing us of her ‘Oh! I-am-so-sexxxxy’, irritating, shriek voice. Shahid Kapur happens to be our quintessential boy-next-door with a nice family, girlfriend (played by an absolute pathetic Sushma Reddy) He also owes money to many people because of which he commits suicide by jumping into the sea(!) Innovative? Very.
So Bandya (Rajpal Yadav) who is Gundya’s assistant catches Shahid in his Fishing net and gets him to the shore. Shahid pretends to be mute and deaf (18 hrs since the film is over, I still can’t figure out why) As luck would have it (both for Shahid and we, the audience) he lands up in the gujju household alongwith Rajpal as a servant till the time Gundya doesn’t pay back Om Puri’s dues. As expected, Shahid and Kareena fall in love and what happens next is typical Priyan style confusion.
The film looks very sleek technically. It has really high production values, kudos to UTV for that, making it look no lesser than any Karan Johar film. The Cinematography is first rate and the editing is pretty insipid.
But the film fails in the three major departments: The Acting, Script and Direction. The script lacks consistency. Though it is very entertaining in the first half it just goes out of steam in the painfully boring and slow second half.
Performance wise, frankly, none but Rajpal impress. Paresh Rawal does his routine. Om Puri does his routine, Suniel Shetty as per routine doesn’t do anything. Shahid looks every bit of the dumb character he has to play. Kareena is a revelation. I never thought that I will ever like her, maybe the no-dialogue bit helped. Neha Dhupia is ok. Sushma Reddy looks a bit too lost as she has to play a widow to a guy she never got married to. The secondary cast does their bit, take their money and leave.
Finally, Mr. Priyadarshan. Why are you doing this to us? Give us some rocking films, like the ones you had given before this slew of mindless comedies. Still full marks to him for doing the same thing all over again and hell! Making it work like always.
Bottomline: Chup Chup ke is not a bad film. It is pretty entertaining. If you don’t have a brain that is.
My Rating: * *
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, tissues, Punjabi Families, New York, Shahrukh Khan.
Filmmaker: Yash Chopra
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, rumaals, Sarso ke khet, Punjab, Chiffon Saris, Introduction rain song for the leading lady,
Filmmaker: Ramgopal Verma
Bollywood Cliché: Horror, Underworld, Stupid climaxes (cinematic, of course), Urmila, Nisha or Antara (Any one of these, unless he decides to remake Charlie’s angels)
And here is the latest entrant in the club of successful B’wood cliché makers…
Filmmaker: Priyadarshan
Bollywood Cliché: Mindless comedy, confusion, Paresh Rawal, Suniel Shetty, Bad music, dollops of emotions in the second half.
Well, First things first. Priyadarshan, yes, the same director who gave us brilliant films like Gardish, Hera Pheri and Virasat seems to have been too taken over by the I-Am-The-King-Of-Bollywood Cliché syndrome, because of which his films have become all sass, no substance; all jazz, no consistence; all crass, no exuberance; all harass, no relevance.
As I sauntered into the hall to watch The Crème de la Crème show of Chup Chup Ke, I had absolutely a clear idea of what was about to unfurl on the screen, but still, when you go to watch a master director’s film, you still feel that maybe, just, maybe he has found his calling… maybe he has found that lost touch, maybe, Chup Chup Ke turns out to be another Hera Pheri.
Unfortunately, all hopes belied me as Chup Chup Ke turned out to be the same rehashed version of the many Priyan films that have come out in the last 4 years. A bit of Hungama, a dash of Hulchul, a tinge of Garam Masala, a stupid looking Shahid thrown in to make things worse and VOILA! You have Chup Chup Ke.
Frankly Chup Chup Ke excited me as much as a plate of Chicken Tikka would excite a 70 yr old Pure Vegetarian Brahmin. It has nothing new to offer. If you are game to senseless, mindless comedy, this is the film you should be watching.
It is basically a story of a Bengali fisherman Gundya(Paresh Rawal) who owes a huge amount of money to a Gujarati businessman (Om Puri). Om Puri has a 70 mm, straight out of Rajshri Productions’ movie’s family. Kareena and Neha Dhupia are two sisters in arms who actually do nothing but roam around in designer Punjabi suits and having a look at things around them with a face that suggest amazing alienity to the happenings. And yes, the ‘I-am-so-wooden’ Suneil Shetty is the typical filmy Bada Bhai to Pyari behna Kareena Kapoor. For record and luckily for all of us, Kareena is mute sparing us of her ‘Oh! I-am-so-sexxxxy’, irritating, shriek voice. Shahid Kapur happens to be our quintessential boy-next-door with a nice family, girlfriend (played by an absolute pathetic Sushma Reddy) He also owes money to many people because of which he commits suicide by jumping into the sea(!) Innovative? Very.
So Bandya (Rajpal Yadav) who is Gundya’s assistant catches Shahid in his Fishing net and gets him to the shore. Shahid pretends to be mute and deaf (18 hrs since the film is over, I still can’t figure out why) As luck would have it (both for Shahid and we, the audience) he lands up in the gujju household alongwith Rajpal as a servant till the time Gundya doesn’t pay back Om Puri’s dues. As expected, Shahid and Kareena fall in love and what happens next is typical Priyan style confusion.
The film looks very sleek technically. It has really high production values, kudos to UTV for that, making it look no lesser than any Karan Johar film. The Cinematography is first rate and the editing is pretty insipid.
But the film fails in the three major departments: The Acting, Script and Direction. The script lacks consistency. Though it is very entertaining in the first half it just goes out of steam in the painfully boring and slow second half.
Performance wise, frankly, none but Rajpal impress. Paresh Rawal does his routine. Om Puri does his routine, Suniel Shetty as per routine doesn’t do anything. Shahid looks every bit of the dumb character he has to play. Kareena is a revelation. I never thought that I will ever like her, maybe the no-dialogue bit helped. Neha Dhupia is ok. Sushma Reddy looks a bit too lost as she has to play a widow to a guy she never got married to. The secondary cast does their bit, take their money and leave.
Finally, Mr. Priyadarshan. Why are you doing this to us? Give us some rocking films, like the ones you had given before this slew of mindless comedies. Still full marks to him for doing the same thing all over again and hell! Making it work like always.
Bottomline: Chup Chup ke is not a bad film. It is pretty entertaining. If you don’t have a brain that is.
My Rating: * *
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