I am a fan of SRK and have been watching all his movies at least thrice and enjoying them immensely every time I saw them. So, of course I am shocked as I write a review for an SRK film, while watching which I felt like going back home more than thrice. A path-breaking movie, Karan Johar has been publicizing KANK as, turns out to be all crass than class, all senseless without even an ounce of logical mass.
Moments into this heavy-duty, grab-your-tissues film, we can see SRK, playing Dev Saran, a footballer par excellence giving Rani Mukerji playing Maya, the school teacher a bit of marital gyaan as she is sitting in her wedding costume on a park bench, while her wedding is about to start in a little bit of time. These two have a strangely ‘stranger’ air about them, which somehow lets it out that maybe a couple of reels later these two are going to meet again. Predictable? Can’t Say. Maybe K Jo wanted us to know.
As perfectly predicted by almost every person sitting in the packed house of the plush multiplex, these two do meet again, after a seriously pathetic, child kidnapper (?) encounter ala misunderstanding. This time, Dev is too screwed up with his own life after an unfortunate accident which ruins his football career. By now we also know that Dev and Maya are married to Rhea (Preity Zinta) and Rishi (Abhishek Bachchan) respectively and through the suggestive dialogue we also get the feeling that both the marriages are not really working. We are also introduced to the Snoopy Dogg type styled Sam aka Samarjeet Talwar (Amitabh Bachchan), Rishi’s flamboyant, casanovaish dad and Dev’s mom played by Kirron Kher who is more than stereotyped in the oh-so-understanding Punjabi mom. Basically this is the story of The Sarans and The Talwars two families who get screwed up because of another love story which involves one of The Sarans and one of The Talwars.
The film moves on at a pace which would even put the slowest of snails to shame and tries to pack in contrived, often flat-falling humor alongwith dollops of typical K Jo emotions. As relations start getting strained, we can see that Dev and Maya try to help each other out by explaining what is wrong or right with them, discussing about ways in which they can improve their respective marriages. That they end up seducing each other more than their partners is another issue. Moral of the whole series-of-unpardonably-boring sequences is that Dev and Maya start loving each other. One thing leads to another and the film treads between Dev and Maya’s love scenes, Dev-Rhea and Maya-Rishi fight scenes, Sam’s playboyish endeavors and when none of these three fit in, you can expect one of the songs which sound better on an audio cd.
What writers Karan Johar and Shibani Bathija thought were amazing twists and turns in the plot turn out to be more predictable than an Australia- Bangladesh cricket match and equally insipid, entertainment wise. K Jo puts his usual song-dance sequences, choreographed in the usual style by his usual Farah Khan and laced with the usual K Jo guest appearances by his usual ‘lucky mascots’.
What was meant to be a different film turns out to be different definitely but in the most negative possible way. It tries to hard to juxtapose comedy with a serious theme like extra-marital affairs. There is no logical explanation for neither of the characters’ behavioral patterns. A sensitive subject is dealt with loads of candy-floss stuff and emotion driven dialogue which a normal individual would never think of saying. Going overtly overboard, the film doesn’t fail to excite you for a single moment in its 3.5 hrs running duration, except for maybe a brilliantly executed sequence post interval where Dev waits for Maya with a bouquet of roses but Rhea walks in coincidentally.
Of the actors, only Amitabh Bachchan manages to stay afloat. He plays the loud character with conviction and ease, making every frame that has him in it, bearable.
Shahrukh Khan who happens to be my favorite actor, hams like there is no tomorrow. As he sobs, shouts and screams arrogantly you feel like pinching yourself and asking if this is the same guy who can display vulnerability just by a glint in his extremely expressive eyes. Sigh, but SRK disappoints. Rani Mukerji tries her best to breathe life in the weakly penned character. Abhishek Bachchan also does not impress even as he breaks things around the house with utmost conviction. But the actor who takes the cake as far as being wooden is concerned is Preity Zinta. Barring a couple of sequences, Miss. Zinta fails to raise even the slightest amount of sympathy. Kirron Kher does her Punjabi Mumma routine as usual. And yes there is Arjun Rampal. Ahem-ahem, I don’t think we should discuss him here.
The screenplay is a letdown, basically because it is highly inconsistent, trying too hard to pack in too many things. The music which is pretty good on the soundtrack turns out to be a pain in the film. Direction wise, K Jo doesn’t really let the film pick up at any point. The film is bad, from Frame 1.
Apart from a couple of well executed sequences and Mr. Bachchan, there is nothing in KANK that should prompt you to buy that 150 bucks ticket.
Watch OMKARA thrice. You would atleast enjoy the langda villian there. The langda hero here is quite a pain.
MY RATING: * *
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Music Review: Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
As I plugged in my disc-man to start playing the dazzling new CD of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, my heart was beating faster than usual, sometimes with anticipation, sometimes with huge expectation or sometimes, with sheer excitement. This Karan Johar film is easily the most awaited Hindi Motion picture of the year. With the stellar ensemble starcast, the curiosity value of the film is at an all time high and with the eclectic trio of Shankar Ehsaan Loy behind the music and with Javed Akhtar saab with the pen, the music has a magnanimous hype about it… the big question is… does KANK live upto the expectations, in terms of music… the answer is a huge YES!!!
The album begins with the hauntingly sad title track. Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is wonderfully worded by Javed saab and excellently crooned by the oh-so-saccharine voice of Sonu Nigam. Though arrangement wise the song goes dangerously close to the Kal Ho Naa Ho title track, it has an altogether different setting. Alka Yagnik provides perfect support to Sonu as SEL come up with an absolutely chartbuster title track.
If you thought that the title song is one of the best tracks of recent times, listen to MITWA, track number 2, which will certainly be song number 1 for at least 15 weeks from now. Sung brilliantly by Shafqat Amanat Ali, the lead singer of Pakistani band, Fuzon and Caralisa crooning the English bit of the track. This song is totally rocking and is a result of some fantastic teamwork by SEL and Javed saab. If you want to hear what a rocking song is… listen to Mitwa.
Electronic sounds and swinging beats set your feet tapping as the third song starts. Where’s the Party tonight? Follows suite of the Bumper hit ‘It’s the time to disco’ from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Wait for the video to come out and be assured that here is another song that can stay up on the charts for long.
Can’t imagine a Karan Johar film without a typical, sugar sweet, lovey-dovey romantic track? Well, the answer lies in an extremely romantic and wonderfully orchestered Tumhi Dekho Na which reminds us of Kuch to Hua Hai from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Sonu Nigam and Alka Yagnik make this song memorable with their honey sweet renditions.
As Shankar Mahadevan croons Rock n Roll Soniye, it is evident that this is one song picturized on Big B who heads the enigmatic starcast of KANK. The song is particularly funky and reminds us of Say Shava Shava from K3G.
The remixed Mitwa Revisited is as delectable as the original. The Farewell trance is melodious.
On a whole, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is one helluva rockin album.
Go For It. Highly recommended.
My Rating: * * * * 1/2
The album begins with the hauntingly sad title track. Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is wonderfully worded by Javed saab and excellently crooned by the oh-so-saccharine voice of Sonu Nigam. Though arrangement wise the song goes dangerously close to the Kal Ho Naa Ho title track, it has an altogether different setting. Alka Yagnik provides perfect support to Sonu as SEL come up with an absolutely chartbuster title track.
If you thought that the title song is one of the best tracks of recent times, listen to MITWA, track number 2, which will certainly be song number 1 for at least 15 weeks from now. Sung brilliantly by Shafqat Amanat Ali, the lead singer of Pakistani band, Fuzon and Caralisa crooning the English bit of the track. This song is totally rocking and is a result of some fantastic teamwork by SEL and Javed saab. If you want to hear what a rocking song is… listen to Mitwa.
Electronic sounds and swinging beats set your feet tapping as the third song starts. Where’s the Party tonight? Follows suite of the Bumper hit ‘It’s the time to disco’ from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Wait for the video to come out and be assured that here is another song that can stay up on the charts for long.
Can’t imagine a Karan Johar film without a typical, sugar sweet, lovey-dovey romantic track? Well, the answer lies in an extremely romantic and wonderfully orchestered Tumhi Dekho Na which reminds us of Kuch to Hua Hai from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Sonu Nigam and Alka Yagnik make this song memorable with their honey sweet renditions.
As Shankar Mahadevan croons Rock n Roll Soniye, it is evident that this is one song picturized on Big B who heads the enigmatic starcast of KANK. The song is particularly funky and reminds us of Say Shava Shava from K3G.
The remixed Mitwa Revisited is as delectable as the original. The Farewell trance is melodious.
On a whole, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is one helluva rockin album.
Go For It. Highly recommended.
My Rating: * * * * 1/2
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
PHIR HERA PHERI: I wish they were content with their first HERA PHERI!
When Hera Pheri had released a few years back with almost nil publicity and hype around it, it went on to crash box office records and laughed its way into the hearts of millions of fans who still watch the film twice a year on Television. Hera Pheri succeeded in giving us what can be safely called a cult comedy bollywood film. Obviously the sequel, Phir Hera Pheri was eagerly awaited and the mammoth box office collections over the first weekend just go a step further to cement the fact that PHP is one of the most anticipated films of the year. So the question on everybody’s mind is… Is PHP worth it? Does it live the legacy of its amazingly funny and well crafted predecessor?
The answer unfortunately is a big NO. Why? Read on.
PHP begins with an item number starring a majorly miscast Dia Mirza alongwith the opening credits. We can see Paresh Rawal, dressed in a rich dhoti-kurta armed with gold ornaments, splurging extraordinarily high amounts of money as she garners ceetees from the gallery for her thumkas and latkas. This just establishes the fact that the trio (Paresh ‘i-am-cast-only-in-comedies’ Rawal, Akshay ‘What-am-I-doing-here?’ Kumar and Suneil ‘I-am-the-most-wooden-actor-of all times’ Shetty) have become very rich from their endeavor in the first installment of HERA PHERI. They have a palatial bungalow complete with a swimming pool and a swanky troupe of cars. Though all this cannot be afforded in the amount of money they made in HP, we still throw logic out of the window and believe that they actually got rich. Anyways, what happens next is that Akshay Kumar invests all their property and cash in a Double-your-money scheme which is operated by Bipasha Basu. In order to fulfil the basic investment 1 crore formula Akshay ropes in an underworld don’s sidekick Rajpal Yadav. Now as expected, Bipasha turns out to be a con-woman and thus the trio are back on the streets. As Underworld, drug peddlers get involved in the scene, PHP reaches its finale in true Priyan style. Confusion surmounts as everything comes together in a circus to lead to what the director thought was a ‘hilarious’ climax.
PHP fails majorly because it doesn’t make you laugh. It tries very hard but succeeds only in a couple of sequences. Though PHP assures you at least 5 genuine laughs, they are not worthy of the 3 hours you dedicate to the film. The climax in the circus is easily the most illogical and stupid one ever witnessed on the Indian screen, we don’t enjoy it, except for the absolutely hilarious sequence in the house of mirrors.
Technically the film doesn’t look nice. It has tacky cinematography and lighting errors are blatantly eminent throughout the films. Screenplay-wise, Writer-Director Neeraj Vora tries to package in almost all ingredients of a masala film in this resulting into a chaotic, half baked effort. The second half of the film tests your patience and is easily one of the worst movie second halves in recent times. Editing is shoddy. Background music as well as songs are totally crappy as neither have the power to sustain the going ons. Direction wise, Neeraj Vora is just about OK.
Performance wise, none of the stellar star-cast stay with you after the show is over. Paresh Rawal hams. Akshay Kumar hams. Suniel Shetty doesn’t do much but groan his dialogues and do his routine ‘not-doing-anything’. Bipasha and Rimi are just glam dolls of the enterprise. Rajpal Yadav is sincere but not competent. Johhny Lever is wasted. The supporting cast is not effective either.
All in all, PHP is not worth the 50 bucks you would spend on it. Wait till it comes on TV. The advantage of watching it on TV is that atleast you can change channels when you get bored.
NOT RECOMMENDED.
My Rating: * 1/2
The answer unfortunately is a big NO. Why? Read on.
PHP begins with an item number starring a majorly miscast Dia Mirza alongwith the opening credits. We can see Paresh Rawal, dressed in a rich dhoti-kurta armed with gold ornaments, splurging extraordinarily high amounts of money as she garners ceetees from the gallery for her thumkas and latkas. This just establishes the fact that the trio (Paresh ‘i-am-cast-only-in-comedies’ Rawal, Akshay ‘What-am-I-doing-here?’ Kumar and Suneil ‘I-am-the-most-wooden-actor-of all times’ Shetty) have become very rich from their endeavor in the first installment of HERA PHERI. They have a palatial bungalow complete with a swimming pool and a swanky troupe of cars. Though all this cannot be afforded in the amount of money they made in HP, we still throw logic out of the window and believe that they actually got rich. Anyways, what happens next is that Akshay Kumar invests all their property and cash in a Double-your-money scheme which is operated by Bipasha Basu. In order to fulfil the basic investment 1 crore formula Akshay ropes in an underworld don’s sidekick Rajpal Yadav. Now as expected, Bipasha turns out to be a con-woman and thus the trio are back on the streets. As Underworld, drug peddlers get involved in the scene, PHP reaches its finale in true Priyan style. Confusion surmounts as everything comes together in a circus to lead to what the director thought was a ‘hilarious’ climax.
PHP fails majorly because it doesn’t make you laugh. It tries very hard but succeeds only in a couple of sequences. Though PHP assures you at least 5 genuine laughs, they are not worthy of the 3 hours you dedicate to the film. The climax in the circus is easily the most illogical and stupid one ever witnessed on the Indian screen, we don’t enjoy it, except for the absolutely hilarious sequence in the house of mirrors.
Technically the film doesn’t look nice. It has tacky cinematography and lighting errors are blatantly eminent throughout the films. Screenplay-wise, Writer-Director Neeraj Vora tries to package in almost all ingredients of a masala film in this resulting into a chaotic, half baked effort. The second half of the film tests your patience and is easily one of the worst movie second halves in recent times. Editing is shoddy. Background music as well as songs are totally crappy as neither have the power to sustain the going ons. Direction wise, Neeraj Vora is just about OK.
Performance wise, none of the stellar star-cast stay with you after the show is over. Paresh Rawal hams. Akshay Kumar hams. Suniel Shetty doesn’t do much but groan his dialogues and do his routine ‘not-doing-anything’. Bipasha and Rimi are just glam dolls of the enterprise. Rajpal Yadav is sincere but not competent. Johhny Lever is wasted. The supporting cast is not effective either.
All in all, PHP is not worth the 50 bucks you would spend on it. Wait till it comes on TV. The advantage of watching it on TV is that atleast you can change channels when you get bored.
NOT RECOMMENDED.
My Rating: * 1/2
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Chup Chup Ke: Been There, Seen That.
Filmmaker: Karan Johar
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, tissues, Punjabi Families, New York, Shahrukh Khan.
Filmmaker: Yash Chopra
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, rumaals, Sarso ke khet, Punjab, Chiffon Saris, Introduction rain song for the leading lady,
Filmmaker: Ramgopal Verma
Bollywood Cliché: Horror, Underworld, Stupid climaxes (cinematic, of course), Urmila, Nisha or Antara (Any one of these, unless he decides to remake Charlie’s angels)
And here is the latest entrant in the club of successful B’wood cliché makers…
Filmmaker: Priyadarshan
Bollywood Cliché: Mindless comedy, confusion, Paresh Rawal, Suniel Shetty, Bad music, dollops of emotions in the second half.
Well, First things first. Priyadarshan, yes, the same director who gave us brilliant films like Gardish, Hera Pheri and Virasat seems to have been too taken over by the I-Am-The-King-Of-Bollywood Cliché syndrome, because of which his films have become all sass, no substance; all jazz, no consistence; all crass, no exuberance; all harass, no relevance.
As I sauntered into the hall to watch The Crème de la Crème show of Chup Chup Ke, I had absolutely a clear idea of what was about to unfurl on the screen, but still, when you go to watch a master director’s film, you still feel that maybe, just, maybe he has found his calling… maybe he has found that lost touch, maybe, Chup Chup Ke turns out to be another Hera Pheri.
Unfortunately, all hopes belied me as Chup Chup Ke turned out to be the same rehashed version of the many Priyan films that have come out in the last 4 years. A bit of Hungama, a dash of Hulchul, a tinge of Garam Masala, a stupid looking Shahid thrown in to make things worse and VOILA! You have Chup Chup Ke.
Frankly Chup Chup Ke excited me as much as a plate of Chicken Tikka would excite a 70 yr old Pure Vegetarian Brahmin. It has nothing new to offer. If you are game to senseless, mindless comedy, this is the film you should be watching.
It is basically a story of a Bengali fisherman Gundya(Paresh Rawal) who owes a huge amount of money to a Gujarati businessman (Om Puri). Om Puri has a 70 mm, straight out of Rajshri Productions’ movie’s family. Kareena and Neha Dhupia are two sisters in arms who actually do nothing but roam around in designer Punjabi suits and having a look at things around them with a face that suggest amazing alienity to the happenings. And yes, the ‘I-am-so-wooden’ Suneil Shetty is the typical filmy Bada Bhai to Pyari behna Kareena Kapoor. For record and luckily for all of us, Kareena is mute sparing us of her ‘Oh! I-am-so-sexxxxy’, irritating, shriek voice. Shahid Kapur happens to be our quintessential boy-next-door with a nice family, girlfriend (played by an absolute pathetic Sushma Reddy) He also owes money to many people because of which he commits suicide by jumping into the sea(!) Innovative? Very.
So Bandya (Rajpal Yadav) who is Gundya’s assistant catches Shahid in his Fishing net and gets him to the shore. Shahid pretends to be mute and deaf (18 hrs since the film is over, I still can’t figure out why) As luck would have it (both for Shahid and we, the audience) he lands up in the gujju household alongwith Rajpal as a servant till the time Gundya doesn’t pay back Om Puri’s dues. As expected, Shahid and Kareena fall in love and what happens next is typical Priyan style confusion.
The film looks very sleek technically. It has really high production values, kudos to UTV for that, making it look no lesser than any Karan Johar film. The Cinematography is first rate and the editing is pretty insipid.
But the film fails in the three major departments: The Acting, Script and Direction. The script lacks consistency. Though it is very entertaining in the first half it just goes out of steam in the painfully boring and slow second half.
Performance wise, frankly, none but Rajpal impress. Paresh Rawal does his routine. Om Puri does his routine, Suniel Shetty as per routine doesn’t do anything. Shahid looks every bit of the dumb character he has to play. Kareena is a revelation. I never thought that I will ever like her, maybe the no-dialogue bit helped. Neha Dhupia is ok. Sushma Reddy looks a bit too lost as she has to play a widow to a guy she never got married to. The secondary cast does their bit, take their money and leave.
Finally, Mr. Priyadarshan. Why are you doing this to us? Give us some rocking films, like the ones you had given before this slew of mindless comedies. Still full marks to him for doing the same thing all over again and hell! Making it work like always.
Bottomline: Chup Chup ke is not a bad film. It is pretty entertaining. If you don’t have a brain that is.
My Rating: * *
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, tissues, Punjabi Families, New York, Shahrukh Khan.
Filmmaker: Yash Chopra
Bollywood Cliché: Glycerin, rumaals, Sarso ke khet, Punjab, Chiffon Saris, Introduction rain song for the leading lady,
Filmmaker: Ramgopal Verma
Bollywood Cliché: Horror, Underworld, Stupid climaxes (cinematic, of course), Urmila, Nisha or Antara (Any one of these, unless he decides to remake Charlie’s angels)
And here is the latest entrant in the club of successful B’wood cliché makers…
Filmmaker: Priyadarshan
Bollywood Cliché: Mindless comedy, confusion, Paresh Rawal, Suniel Shetty, Bad music, dollops of emotions in the second half.
Well, First things first. Priyadarshan, yes, the same director who gave us brilliant films like Gardish, Hera Pheri and Virasat seems to have been too taken over by the I-Am-The-King-Of-Bollywood Cliché syndrome, because of which his films have become all sass, no substance; all jazz, no consistence; all crass, no exuberance; all harass, no relevance.
As I sauntered into the hall to watch The Crème de la Crème show of Chup Chup Ke, I had absolutely a clear idea of what was about to unfurl on the screen, but still, when you go to watch a master director’s film, you still feel that maybe, just, maybe he has found his calling… maybe he has found that lost touch, maybe, Chup Chup Ke turns out to be another Hera Pheri.
Unfortunately, all hopes belied me as Chup Chup Ke turned out to be the same rehashed version of the many Priyan films that have come out in the last 4 years. A bit of Hungama, a dash of Hulchul, a tinge of Garam Masala, a stupid looking Shahid thrown in to make things worse and VOILA! You have Chup Chup Ke.
Frankly Chup Chup Ke excited me as much as a plate of Chicken Tikka would excite a 70 yr old Pure Vegetarian Brahmin. It has nothing new to offer. If you are game to senseless, mindless comedy, this is the film you should be watching.
It is basically a story of a Bengali fisherman Gundya(Paresh Rawal) who owes a huge amount of money to a Gujarati businessman (Om Puri). Om Puri has a 70 mm, straight out of Rajshri Productions’ movie’s family. Kareena and Neha Dhupia are two sisters in arms who actually do nothing but roam around in designer Punjabi suits and having a look at things around them with a face that suggest amazing alienity to the happenings. And yes, the ‘I-am-so-wooden’ Suneil Shetty is the typical filmy Bada Bhai to Pyari behna Kareena Kapoor. For record and luckily for all of us, Kareena is mute sparing us of her ‘Oh! I-am-so-sexxxxy’, irritating, shriek voice. Shahid Kapur happens to be our quintessential boy-next-door with a nice family, girlfriend (played by an absolute pathetic Sushma Reddy) He also owes money to many people because of which he commits suicide by jumping into the sea(!) Innovative? Very.
So Bandya (Rajpal Yadav) who is Gundya’s assistant catches Shahid in his Fishing net and gets him to the shore. Shahid pretends to be mute and deaf (18 hrs since the film is over, I still can’t figure out why) As luck would have it (both for Shahid and we, the audience) he lands up in the gujju household alongwith Rajpal as a servant till the time Gundya doesn’t pay back Om Puri’s dues. As expected, Shahid and Kareena fall in love and what happens next is typical Priyan style confusion.
The film looks very sleek technically. It has really high production values, kudos to UTV for that, making it look no lesser than any Karan Johar film. The Cinematography is first rate and the editing is pretty insipid.
But the film fails in the three major departments: The Acting, Script and Direction. The script lacks consistency. Though it is very entertaining in the first half it just goes out of steam in the painfully boring and slow second half.
Performance wise, frankly, none but Rajpal impress. Paresh Rawal does his routine. Om Puri does his routine, Suniel Shetty as per routine doesn’t do anything. Shahid looks every bit of the dumb character he has to play. Kareena is a revelation. I never thought that I will ever like her, maybe the no-dialogue bit helped. Neha Dhupia is ok. Sushma Reddy looks a bit too lost as she has to play a widow to a guy she never got married to. The secondary cast does their bit, take their money and leave.
Finally, Mr. Priyadarshan. Why are you doing this to us? Give us some rocking films, like the ones you had given before this slew of mindless comedies. Still full marks to him for doing the same thing all over again and hell! Making it work like always.
Bottomline: Chup Chup ke is not a bad film. It is pretty entertaining. If you don’t have a brain that is.
My Rating: * *
Monday, May 29, 2006
Fanaa: Dissappointing!
As i sauntered into a plush Pune multiplex to watch FANAA, I was carrying an excess baggage of expectations. From Yashraj to Aamir... From Kunal Kohli to Kajol. But when i walked out after the show, i felt cheated... cheated for the fact that i actually bought a ticket to watch a really, really dumb film. FANAA fails majorly. Why? Read on...
WARNING::::
This Review is a Spoiler and has details about the plot. Things that might shock u while watching the film. So if u intend to watch it. Dont read beyond this. But still, dont watch the film. Its not worth your money.
Basically, FANAA is a love story between a Blind kashmiri girl, Zooni (Kajol) and a tourist guide (Rehan). Now it doesnt come as a surprise when we realize that Aamir is not a tourist guy but actually a terrorist, and a major terrorist for that matter. Zooni comes to Delhi to perform in a Republic Day function with a few friends. There tourist guide Rehan is assigned duty to take them around. He says more shayari than dialogue, flirts with our blind jane, sings songs and when he is not doing either of the three things, he talks on a cellphone.
Then, despite of repeated warnings from her friends, Zooni falls for Rehan's charm. They start dating(!) and end up in bed after a night long date.
Rehan also falls in love with her after she mouths a dialogue and decides to marry her. She has an eye operation but then gets the shock of her life.
The director spares us for the 7 years in between as he introduces us to the other side of Rehan, the terrorist mastermind who has joined the Indian Army(!) on a mission. After an MI-2 esque chase sequence, he ends up injured standing at Zooni's door. He is shocked when his son (Remember He and Zooni had made love once?) opens the door. Obviously Zooni hasnt seen him, but she can still remember his voice n touch n all that. Basically the terrorist assures marriage once again when fate strikes again...
This is the story of Fanaa. Interesting? Not at all. Boring? Majorly. Did i feel like getting out of the theatre? Yes. How many times? Well... 3 to be precise.
This is a film from the Yashraj stable who claim to be making high quality products to demand a hike in ticket prices at multiplexes. Well, if Fanaa is their definition of high quality... I cant really say much.
Why did I hate Fanaa so much...? Here are 10 points i hated about the film. Some logical flaws and some glaring technical loopholes...
1> Why would a blind girl start dating a tourist guy and end up in bed just 2 days later? What the hell was her teacher(Lillete Dubey) doing when Zooni wasnt at the hostel at night?
2> If Rehan is a mastermind terrorist, why does he roam out in the open flirting with blind girls, guiding tourists... and how the hell does he keep his actual identity?
3>What is Rehan's ideology? How does he conviniently fall in love, then even more conviniently get out of it and still more conviniently fall in it again?
4>Why does a most wanted terrorist sing stupid songs with his kid long after he has recovered? Why does he not go and finish his HIGH PRIORITY mission first?
5>How does he manage to join the Indian Army? I mean, is it so easy to get in the Indian army?
6>Which anti terrorist outfit will make a nuclear missile by stealing different parts from different countries?
7> What the hell was the editor doing? The film is painfully L0000000000ng and lasts for a total 3 hrs. It is very slow.
8> All songs except Subhan Allah and Dekho na are pathetic.
9> The Screenplay kills the film. It is full of loopholes and potholes. It is full of logical flaws. The ones i mentioned above are just 50% of the total flaws.
10>The direction(Kunal Kohli) is a downer. He is not at ease with the script nor with the treatment of it.
There are a few heartwarming scenes in the film like the initial confrontations between Aamir and Shruti Seth(Kajol's friend) or the scene between Kajol and Aamir in an Auto Rickshaw.
The actors are amazing. Kajol looks stunning and does her part with conviction. You cant help but smile in her intro scene where she salutes the Indian Flag. Aamir's character is terribly sketched and is very confused for the lead man. It is neither plain white nor is it a black. It fails and is the reason for Fanaa failing. Actors like Shiney Ahuja, Lara Dutta and Lillete Dubey are wasted in totally inconsequential roles.
On the whole FANAA is a notch below average. Dont watch it in a theatre people. It is simply not your money's worth. Wait for the DVD release.
All i can say is people in Gujarat are lucky. For beginners, FANAA wasnt released in Gujarat!
My Rating: *
WARNING::::
This Review is a Spoiler and has details about the plot. Things that might shock u while watching the film. So if u intend to watch it. Dont read beyond this. But still, dont watch the film. Its not worth your money.
Basically, FANAA is a love story between a Blind kashmiri girl, Zooni (Kajol) and a tourist guide (Rehan). Now it doesnt come as a surprise when we realize that Aamir is not a tourist guy but actually a terrorist, and a major terrorist for that matter. Zooni comes to Delhi to perform in a Republic Day function with a few friends. There tourist guide Rehan is assigned duty to take them around. He says more shayari than dialogue, flirts with our blind jane, sings songs and when he is not doing either of the three things, he talks on a cellphone.
Then, despite of repeated warnings from her friends, Zooni falls for Rehan's charm. They start dating(!) and end up in bed after a night long date.
Rehan also falls in love with her after she mouths a dialogue and decides to marry her. She has an eye operation but then gets the shock of her life.
The director spares us for the 7 years in between as he introduces us to the other side of Rehan, the terrorist mastermind who has joined the Indian Army(!) on a mission. After an MI-2 esque chase sequence, he ends up injured standing at Zooni's door. He is shocked when his son (Remember He and Zooni had made love once?) opens the door. Obviously Zooni hasnt seen him, but she can still remember his voice n touch n all that. Basically the terrorist assures marriage once again when fate strikes again...
This is the story of Fanaa. Interesting? Not at all. Boring? Majorly. Did i feel like getting out of the theatre? Yes. How many times? Well... 3 to be precise.
This is a film from the Yashraj stable who claim to be making high quality products to demand a hike in ticket prices at multiplexes. Well, if Fanaa is their definition of high quality... I cant really say much.
Why did I hate Fanaa so much...? Here are 10 points i hated about the film. Some logical flaws and some glaring technical loopholes...
1> Why would a blind girl start dating a tourist guy and end up in bed just 2 days later? What the hell was her teacher(Lillete Dubey) doing when Zooni wasnt at the hostel at night?
2> If Rehan is a mastermind terrorist, why does he roam out in the open flirting with blind girls, guiding tourists... and how the hell does he keep his actual identity?
3>What is Rehan's ideology? How does he conviniently fall in love, then even more conviniently get out of it and still more conviniently fall in it again?
4>Why does a most wanted terrorist sing stupid songs with his kid long after he has recovered? Why does he not go and finish his HIGH PRIORITY mission first?
5>How does he manage to join the Indian Army? I mean, is it so easy to get in the Indian army?
6>Which anti terrorist outfit will make a nuclear missile by stealing different parts from different countries?
7> What the hell was the editor doing? The film is painfully L0000000000ng and lasts for a total 3 hrs. It is very slow.
8> All songs except Subhan Allah and Dekho na are pathetic.
9> The Screenplay kills the film. It is full of loopholes and potholes. It is full of logical flaws. The ones i mentioned above are just 50% of the total flaws.
10>The direction(Kunal Kohli) is a downer. He is not at ease with the script nor with the treatment of it.
There are a few heartwarming scenes in the film like the initial confrontations between Aamir and Shruti Seth(Kajol's friend) or the scene between Kajol and Aamir in an Auto Rickshaw.
The actors are amazing. Kajol looks stunning and does her part with conviction. You cant help but smile in her intro scene where she salutes the Indian Flag. Aamir's character is terribly sketched and is very confused for the lead man. It is neither plain white nor is it a black. It fails and is the reason for Fanaa failing. Actors like Shiney Ahuja, Lara Dutta and Lillete Dubey are wasted in totally inconsequential roles.
On the whole FANAA is a notch below average. Dont watch it in a theatre people. It is simply not your money's worth. Wait for the DVD release.
All i can say is people in Gujarat are lucky. For beginners, FANAA wasnt released in Gujarat!
My Rating: *
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
This GANGSTER rocks!!!
As i sauntered into the cinema hall screening GANGSTER, i was assured that it would be just another movie from the Bhatt stable with Emraan Hashmi kissing his way through it. The only reason why i went for it was that there was nothing better to do and HELL! it had a rocking soundtrack.
But 3 mins into the film and i was pleasantly surprised to see a technically sleek, well told and very engaging story unfold in front of my eyes. GANGSTER is one of the very few films i have thoroughly enjoyed watching in the past few years.
It is basically the story of Simran (played by newcomer Kangna) who is a drunk. She has gone totally into depression and has taken up the bottle in a big way. Her only support system is Akash (Emraan Hashmi) a singer in a seoul club. He loves her, but somehow Simran does not respond.
The movie subtly shifts from a picturesque Seoul to apni Mumbai as Simran narrates to Akash her past... her story. Simran who was a bar dancer is virtually married to A dreaded gangster, Daya (Shiney Ahuja). What does virtually married mean... Watch the film for that. She is madly in love with Daya who is madder in love with her. Constantly running from the cops with his life on the edge constantly, Daya has left Simran in Seoul. She is lonely and deppressed till the day Akash convinces her to start a new life with him. Life is fine for both of them till the day.... Daya returns.
GANGSTER is stellar in every aspect. An amazing screenplay by Anurag Basu, makes sure that we are subjected to a striking twist at regular intervals. Though the film takes its own time, often going slow in the first half but promising a thoroughly thrilling second half. It has smart editing, awesome camera work and good direction by Anurag Basu.
Performance wise all the three leads play their parts with utmost conviction. Emraan Hashmi gives his career's best performance, Shiney Ahuja rocks in a shockingly subdues performance. Newcomer Kangna looks stunning and acts wonderfully in a very difficult, author backed role.
GANGSTER works primarily because the director carefully peels of layer by layer of the mystery unravelling it in a wonderfully written, convincing but a painfully slow climax. We just hope that the climax wouldve been faster.
The music, needless to say is ROCKING! the Yaa Ali track is wonderfully shot and takes the story ahead in more than one ways.
GANGSTER is a surprisingly good film. Go For It.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
My Rating: * * * * 1/2
But 3 mins into the film and i was pleasantly surprised to see a technically sleek, well told and very engaging story unfold in front of my eyes. GANGSTER is one of the very few films i have thoroughly enjoyed watching in the past few years.
It is basically the story of Simran (played by newcomer Kangna) who is a drunk. She has gone totally into depression and has taken up the bottle in a big way. Her only support system is Akash (Emraan Hashmi) a singer in a seoul club. He loves her, but somehow Simran does not respond.
The movie subtly shifts from a picturesque Seoul to apni Mumbai as Simran narrates to Akash her past... her story. Simran who was a bar dancer is virtually married to A dreaded gangster, Daya (Shiney Ahuja). What does virtually married mean... Watch the film for that. She is madly in love with Daya who is madder in love with her. Constantly running from the cops with his life on the edge constantly, Daya has left Simran in Seoul. She is lonely and deppressed till the day Akash convinces her to start a new life with him. Life is fine for both of them till the day.... Daya returns.
GANGSTER is stellar in every aspect. An amazing screenplay by Anurag Basu, makes sure that we are subjected to a striking twist at regular intervals. Though the film takes its own time, often going slow in the first half but promising a thoroughly thrilling second half. It has smart editing, awesome camera work and good direction by Anurag Basu.
Performance wise all the three leads play their parts with utmost conviction. Emraan Hashmi gives his career's best performance, Shiney Ahuja rocks in a shockingly subdues performance. Newcomer Kangna looks stunning and acts wonderfully in a very difficult, author backed role.
GANGSTER works primarily because the director carefully peels of layer by layer of the mystery unravelling it in a wonderfully written, convincing but a painfully slow climax. We just hope that the climax wouldve been faster.
The music, needless to say is ROCKING! the Yaa Ali track is wonderfully shot and takes the story ahead in more than one ways.
GANGSTER is a surprisingly good film. Go For It.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
My Rating: * * * * 1/2
DARNA ZAROORI HAI
Well, well, well... writing reviews for Factory films has always been tough, and it cannot get tougher than this. DZH is definitely different... but does it really work? Well... read on to find out.
Well DZH is a sequel to a-not-so-successful Darna Mana Hai. It follows the same path and takes 7 different stories and ties them together using one main story. In the case of Darna Mana Hai, it was 6 friends telling each other Ghost stories, here its an old lady who tells 5 kids ghost stories when they enter her mansion because of rains.
DZH has 6 stories ranging from awesome to aweful. Well, to make life simpler for all of us, lets just take each story one by one.
1> Sajid Khan writes and directs the first story that has an amazing Manoj Pahwa taking a potshot on every possible horror cliche including Chudails, Kabristans, Amavas raats n what not. Shifting regularly between scary and Hilarious this story is one of the best enterprises. Manoj Pahwa rocks in a role tailormade for him, eating and laughing his heart out and Sajid Khan proves that he can make a promising director.
2>Ramu himself weilds the megaphone for this story starring Amitabh Bachchan and Ritesh Deshmukh. It is about a professor who thinks that someone is staying in his house. Ritesh and Amitabh excel in thier respective roles, Ramu directs well, but the story does not scare you and is culminated into a childish looking climax.
3>Prawaal Raman, the guy who had directed DARNA MANA HAI, comes up with the third story starring an stunning looking Bipasha, and a wooden Arjun Rampal. The story is decent in parts but thanks to Arjun Rampal's pathetic acting skills, it loses interest midway. Makrand Deshpande is brilliant in a role that seems to be tailormade for him.
4> New comer Vivek directs the fourth story starring Sonali Kulkarni, Rajpal Yadav and Suneil Shetty (yawn!). After u watch this story u will actually wonder if this is a horror story. Pathetic to the T, it falls flat on its face right from the first frame. Rajpal gives a spirited performance, Sonali is Ok but Suneil Shetty takes the cake by coming up with what could be called the worst performance by an actor in a decade. This story is so bad that you can actually go out of the theatre and come back after 15 boring minutes.
5> Anil Kapoor and Mallika Sherawat act with amazing ease in the fifth story directed by Jijy Philip of My Wife's Murder. Taking a dig at Karan Johar this is a highly predictable story and hardly evokes any scare. Its a very average story. Can be called as the second worst of the film... after Suniel's Sucker Story of course.
6> Now this one is the true shocker. Directed by Chakraverty and starring Randeep Hooda and Rasika Joshi, this story is easily the best of the enterprise. Written by Manish Gupta, it is a truely shocking story and is worth ever penny u spend on the ticket of DZH. Simply Spellbinding is the only phrase i can use to describe this story. Both Randeep and Rasika act brilliantly. Its the best of the lot.
Now coming to the connecting story; that of an old lady and a bunch of kids is also Ok in parts but becomes very predictable towards the end. Manish Gupta shows spark as a director.
All in all DZH is a decent attempt. You wont get bored. Worth a ticket's price.
GO FOR IT
My Rating: * * *
Well DZH is a sequel to a-not-so-successful Darna Mana Hai. It follows the same path and takes 7 different stories and ties them together using one main story. In the case of Darna Mana Hai, it was 6 friends telling each other Ghost stories, here its an old lady who tells 5 kids ghost stories when they enter her mansion because of rains.
DZH has 6 stories ranging from awesome to aweful. Well, to make life simpler for all of us, lets just take each story one by one.
1> Sajid Khan writes and directs the first story that has an amazing Manoj Pahwa taking a potshot on every possible horror cliche including Chudails, Kabristans, Amavas raats n what not. Shifting regularly between scary and Hilarious this story is one of the best enterprises. Manoj Pahwa rocks in a role tailormade for him, eating and laughing his heart out and Sajid Khan proves that he can make a promising director.
2>Ramu himself weilds the megaphone for this story starring Amitabh Bachchan and Ritesh Deshmukh. It is about a professor who thinks that someone is staying in his house. Ritesh and Amitabh excel in thier respective roles, Ramu directs well, but the story does not scare you and is culminated into a childish looking climax.
3>Prawaal Raman, the guy who had directed DARNA MANA HAI, comes up with the third story starring an stunning looking Bipasha, and a wooden Arjun Rampal. The story is decent in parts but thanks to Arjun Rampal's pathetic acting skills, it loses interest midway. Makrand Deshpande is brilliant in a role that seems to be tailormade for him.
4> New comer Vivek directs the fourth story starring Sonali Kulkarni, Rajpal Yadav and Suneil Shetty (yawn!). After u watch this story u will actually wonder if this is a horror story. Pathetic to the T, it falls flat on its face right from the first frame. Rajpal gives a spirited performance, Sonali is Ok but Suneil Shetty takes the cake by coming up with what could be called the worst performance by an actor in a decade. This story is so bad that you can actually go out of the theatre and come back after 15 boring minutes.
5> Anil Kapoor and Mallika Sherawat act with amazing ease in the fifth story directed by Jijy Philip of My Wife's Murder. Taking a dig at Karan Johar this is a highly predictable story and hardly evokes any scare. Its a very average story. Can be called as the second worst of the film... after Suniel's Sucker Story of course.
6> Now this one is the true shocker. Directed by Chakraverty and starring Randeep Hooda and Rasika Joshi, this story is easily the best of the enterprise. Written by Manish Gupta, it is a truely shocking story and is worth ever penny u spend on the ticket of DZH. Simply Spellbinding is the only phrase i can use to describe this story. Both Randeep and Rasika act brilliantly. Its the best of the lot.
Now coming to the connecting story; that of an old lady and a bunch of kids is also Ok in parts but becomes very predictable towards the end. Manish Gupta shows spark as a director.
All in all DZH is a decent attempt. You wont get bored. Worth a ticket's price.
GO FOR IT
My Rating: * * *
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Humko (literally) Deewana Kar Gaye
You know what the worst part of being a movie critic is...? You have to sit through immensely sick and pathetic films like HDKG.
You know what the best part is... you get to screw these films... and save the lives of thousands of poor, mortals who have not yet faced death by watching that film.
So let the screwing begin.
Well if you have seen LOVE ACTUALLY, its perfectly ok if u walk in ten minutes late for HDKG. This is because the entire airport title track is a shameless ripoff.
Now... If you have seen NOTTING HILL, its perfectly ok if u walk in thirty minutes late. This is because, after the LOVE ACTUALLYsque titles and a really crappy Bipasha basu song, the next fifteen minutes are an even more shameless ripoff of the amazing Julia Roberts film.
After this director Raj Kanwar decides that with a hundred hindi films made in an year in apna Bollywood, why does he have to rent Hollywood DVD's?
So, the next one hour is full of scenes reminiscent of DDLJ and a dejavu of a few more bollywood romances.
So i say, its perfectly alright if you step in to watch HDKG after the interval. You have already seen it all. And that too with better actors.
And then... the kind of second half the film boasts of... Its perfectly ok if you dont watch it at all.
HDKG is arguably one of the worst hindi films ever. Here is the story... if you care to know.
Akshay Kumar plays a Honda car test driver. Now he is sent to Canada, where he does everything else other than testing cars, he acts as a salesman, drives in a rally and starts dating Katrina Kaif who is engaged to Anil Kapoor. I forgot to mention, in the first ten minutes, Akshay gets engaged to Bipasha Basu.
So its as old as the hills and as predictable as Neal N Nikki. Akshay and Katrina fall in love when they are engaged to different people. Who marries who? Anyone who has passed std 1st can guess it just right.
What the hell was Raj Kanwar thinking while writing and directing this idiot film...?
What the hell was Akshay Kumar doing?
What the hell was Anu Malik thinkin while composing for this film?
What the hell is the editor's problem? Did he forget his scissors at home? Or does he nurse a secret crush on the director?
Katrina Kaif looks stunning and acts well. Rest there is nothing in the film. It really makes you Deewana... (meaning crazy in English)
Dont watch this.
My Rating: MAD OR WHAT!!!
You know what the best part is... you get to screw these films... and save the lives of thousands of poor, mortals who have not yet faced death by watching that film.
So let the screwing begin.
Well if you have seen LOVE ACTUALLY, its perfectly ok if u walk in ten minutes late for HDKG. This is because the entire airport title track is a shameless ripoff.
Now... If you have seen NOTTING HILL, its perfectly ok if u walk in thirty minutes late. This is because, after the LOVE ACTUALLYsque titles and a really crappy Bipasha basu song, the next fifteen minutes are an even more shameless ripoff of the amazing Julia Roberts film.
After this director Raj Kanwar decides that with a hundred hindi films made in an year in apna Bollywood, why does he have to rent Hollywood DVD's?
So, the next one hour is full of scenes reminiscent of DDLJ and a dejavu of a few more bollywood romances.
So i say, its perfectly alright if you step in to watch HDKG after the interval. You have already seen it all. And that too with better actors.
And then... the kind of second half the film boasts of... Its perfectly ok if you dont watch it at all.
HDKG is arguably one of the worst hindi films ever. Here is the story... if you care to know.
Akshay Kumar plays a Honda car test driver. Now he is sent to Canada, where he does everything else other than testing cars, he acts as a salesman, drives in a rally and starts dating Katrina Kaif who is engaged to Anil Kapoor. I forgot to mention, in the first ten minutes, Akshay gets engaged to Bipasha Basu.
So its as old as the hills and as predictable as Neal N Nikki. Akshay and Katrina fall in love when they are engaged to different people. Who marries who? Anyone who has passed std 1st can guess it just right.
What the hell was Raj Kanwar thinking while writing and directing this idiot film...?
What the hell was Akshay Kumar doing?
What the hell was Anu Malik thinkin while composing for this film?
What the hell is the editor's problem? Did he forget his scissors at home? Or does he nurse a secret crush on the director?
Katrina Kaif looks stunning and acts well. Rest there is nothing in the film. It really makes you Deewana... (meaning crazy in English)
Dont watch this.
My Rating: MAD OR WHAT!!!
Saturday, February 25, 2006
TAXI NO 9 2 11: Full on time pass!
Well, well, well... Bollywood is growing up. With Lagaan it grew 3 yrs old... with Swades it grew 4 yrs old... 5 with RDB and... Happy birthday Bollywood... It just turned 6.
Taxi No 9 2 11 rocks and how! Treading into a totally unconventional and new territory, 9 2 11 transports us into Bombay... the way it is. It starts straightway... to the point... with the introduction of its two hotheaded protagonists coming from two diametrically opposite stratas of the society.
Raghav Shastri(Nana Patekar) is a hot headed cab driver who feels the entire world is against him. He has changed 23 jobs and is lying to his wife by saying that he is an insurance agent. Jai Mittal (John Abraham) is another hot-headed multi millionaire who wants to claim his dad's riches.
What happens when their paths collide? That forms the crux of TAXI NO 9211.
Giving out anymore of the story would be unfair to the makers and you people as well. All i can say that 9 2 11 is a well made film. It is one of the most fulfilling commercial cinema experiences i have had in recent times.
Nana Patekar is awesomely brilliant. John Abraham surprised me with a stellar performance. Sonali Kulkarni as Nana's wife is competant. Sameera Reddy is wooden.
The script by Rajat Arora is decent. He writes some brilliant dialogues but falters in the screenplay. Music by Vishal Shekhar is average. Editing is crisp. Director Milan Luthria impresses with an amazing command over the medium.
TAXI NO 9 2 11 is not pathbreaking. But it is pathbreakingly different. And it is full on time pass.
Highly Recommended!
My Rating: * * * 1/2
Taxi No 9 2 11 rocks and how! Treading into a totally unconventional and new territory, 9 2 11 transports us into Bombay... the way it is. It starts straightway... to the point... with the introduction of its two hotheaded protagonists coming from two diametrically opposite stratas of the society.
Raghav Shastri(Nana Patekar) is a hot headed cab driver who feels the entire world is against him. He has changed 23 jobs and is lying to his wife by saying that he is an insurance agent. Jai Mittal (John Abraham) is another hot-headed multi millionaire who wants to claim his dad's riches.
What happens when their paths collide? That forms the crux of TAXI NO 9211.
Giving out anymore of the story would be unfair to the makers and you people as well. All i can say that 9 2 11 is a well made film. It is one of the most fulfilling commercial cinema experiences i have had in recent times.
Nana Patekar is awesomely brilliant. John Abraham surprised me with a stellar performance. Sonali Kulkarni as Nana's wife is competant. Sameera Reddy is wooden.
The script by Rajat Arora is decent. He writes some brilliant dialogues but falters in the screenplay. Music by Vishal Shekhar is average. Editing is crisp. Director Milan Luthria impresses with an amazing command over the medium.
TAXI NO 9 2 11 is not pathbreaking. But it is pathbreakingly different. And it is full on time pass.
Highly Recommended!
My Rating: * * * 1/2
Sunday, February 12, 2006
AKSAR
Sex. Scandal. Suspense. That is what the tagline of AKSAR read before i watched the film. After i watched it, the tagline read... Sex? Scandal? Suspense?
Let me tell you at the very start of this review, AKSAR sucks. A bad film right from the word go, AKSAR didnt even keep me hooked for the first five minutes. Had it not been for Harsh who came with me to watch the film, i wonder if i would have even sat through till the interval.
Aksar is directed by Anant Mahadevan(Dil Vil Pyar Vyar, Dil Maange More) and stars Emraan Hashmi, Udita Goswami and Dino Morea. From here onwards I will be mentioning these actors as E, U and D respectively. I am too pissed to type their names.
It starts with serial kisser E and a very weirdly dressed Umaking out in some obscure fort. Innovative, not really. Interesting, not at all. Then we go into a fast forward by three years. Thank you Mr. Anant Mahadevan for sparing us for the three years in between.
Then E who is a photographer has an exhibition of his photographs. A supposedly suave but insipidly stupid in reality D enters the scene and buys all of E's photos. (Yawn!)
Now he hires E to get into an affair with his wife, U. How predictible can things get?
U is this female who calls Versace crap and claims to make fashion just by wearing what she likes throws nearly 500 vases in this film. I wish she banged one on the writer's head, one on the director's and two on her own head.
After a few fights, E makes U fall in love with him. From the looks of the film, it is more of a lust affair than a love affair. A few smooches and a couple of really painfully bad songs, D catches E and U in the bed. but U is cool with it and tells D to buzz off. The changing face of the female lead in bollywood.
Its time for the interval. I and Harsh were never so happy in a film interval. We bought samosas, coffee and sandwiches. One needs food for energy and energy to watch a bad film.
As soon as the second half started, another song came up and I wished i had spent another 5 minutes in the washroom. Then enters Tara Sharma. I was so pissed with her that i wont even use a T to mention her. In fact I am so pissed with her hamming that i wont mention her in this review again. She is a real torture to bear. The Mumbai police should show tough criminals her films so that they will immidietaly spit out all information at the cost of switching the film off.
So back to the story, the director and the writer realize that there is not much they can do, so they cook up an instant murder mystery by knocking off one of the three leads. Now telling who dies would be unfair but I wish they knocked U off.
Anyways, here onwards, you can see some seriously innovative hidden camera technology where there is a hidden camera, that looks more like a webcam that captures shots from three different angles and also puts in Matrix style special effects. The suspense unfolds but I am sure that you would have guessed it atleast fifteen minutes before the director and writer decide to enlighten you.
Frankly AKSAR is a pathetic film. Everything is bad. D looks too stupid for a businessman, E does his casanova-kiss-lust-love routine and U is just one bit better than the other actress who i have vowed never to mention in the review again.
The music is hummable but not worth all the hype it has generated. Himesh Reshammiya should spare us of his nasal singing. I wish U banged one vase on his nose.
Dont watch AKSAR. IT doesnt have the sex it promises. There is hardly any scandal and you should be in standard 2nd to be shocked buy the suspense.
But i have two people to thank.
1> Mr. Anant Mahadevan who woke me back to reality just when i thought that bollywood was changing(post RDB obviously) by releasing this mindless freak film one week later RDB which is gonna become cult.
2> Harsh, thanks for bearing the torture with me. Only a true friend stays with you during times of trouble. And frankly i have never been this troubled ever. And Harsh my friend stayed by my side.
AKSAR is bad. Stay away or die.
MY RATING: NOT APPLICABLE
Let me tell you at the very start of this review, AKSAR sucks. A bad film right from the word go, AKSAR didnt even keep me hooked for the first five minutes. Had it not been for Harsh who came with me to watch the film, i wonder if i would have even sat through till the interval.
Aksar is directed by Anant Mahadevan(Dil Vil Pyar Vyar, Dil Maange More) and stars Emraan Hashmi, Udita Goswami and Dino Morea. From here onwards I will be mentioning these actors as E, U and D respectively. I am too pissed to type their names.
It starts with serial kisser E and a very weirdly dressed Umaking out in some obscure fort. Innovative, not really. Interesting, not at all. Then we go into a fast forward by three years. Thank you Mr. Anant Mahadevan for sparing us for the three years in between.
Then E who is a photographer has an exhibition of his photographs. A supposedly suave but insipidly stupid in reality D enters the scene and buys all of E's photos. (Yawn!)
Now he hires E to get into an affair with his wife, U. How predictible can things get?
U is this female who calls Versace crap and claims to make fashion just by wearing what she likes throws nearly 500 vases in this film. I wish she banged one on the writer's head, one on the director's and two on her own head.
After a few fights, E makes U fall in love with him. From the looks of the film, it is more of a lust affair than a love affair. A few smooches and a couple of really painfully bad songs, D catches E and U in the bed. but U is cool with it and tells D to buzz off. The changing face of the female lead in bollywood.
Its time for the interval. I and Harsh were never so happy in a film interval. We bought samosas, coffee and sandwiches. One needs food for energy and energy to watch a bad film.
As soon as the second half started, another song came up and I wished i had spent another 5 minutes in the washroom. Then enters Tara Sharma. I was so pissed with her that i wont even use a T to mention her. In fact I am so pissed with her hamming that i wont mention her in this review again. She is a real torture to bear. The Mumbai police should show tough criminals her films so that they will immidietaly spit out all information at the cost of switching the film off.
So back to the story, the director and the writer realize that there is not much they can do, so they cook up an instant murder mystery by knocking off one of the three leads. Now telling who dies would be unfair but I wish they knocked U off.
Anyways, here onwards, you can see some seriously innovative hidden camera technology where there is a hidden camera, that looks more like a webcam that captures shots from three different angles and also puts in Matrix style special effects. The suspense unfolds but I am sure that you would have guessed it atleast fifteen minutes before the director and writer decide to enlighten you.
Frankly AKSAR is a pathetic film. Everything is bad. D looks too stupid for a businessman, E does his casanova-kiss-lust-love routine and U is just one bit better than the other actress who i have vowed never to mention in the review again.
The music is hummable but not worth all the hype it has generated. Himesh Reshammiya should spare us of his nasal singing. I wish U banged one vase on his nose.
Dont watch AKSAR. IT doesnt have the sex it promises. There is hardly any scandal and you should be in standard 2nd to be shocked buy the suspense.
But i have two people to thank.
1> Mr. Anant Mahadevan who woke me back to reality just when i thought that bollywood was changing(post RDB obviously) by releasing this mindless freak film one week later RDB which is gonna become cult.
2> Harsh, thanks for bearing the torture with me. Only a true friend stays with you during times of trouble. And frankly i have never been this troubled ever. And Harsh my friend stayed by my side.
AKSAR is bad. Stay away or die.
MY RATING: NOT APPLICABLE
Friday, January 27, 2006
RANG DE BASANTI: (EXTENDED):
I am an Indian. Till yesterday I seriously used to think that India is all about excess population, corruption and another thousand problems which are overshadowed by petty things like cricket and an-all-time favorite excuse viz. culture. Yesterday, I realized that’s not India. There is more to India than all the above things… There is a strong ‘WE’ in India that is on its way to become hundreds and thousands of scattered, disjoint I’s.
Thank you Mr. Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra to have given me the best Republic Day gift of all times. RANG DE BASANTI is the only other film to have tug my heartstrings in such a way after my another all time favorite SWADES.
I have seen people laugh in a film, I have seen people cry while watching a film but never in the 21 yrs of my life have I seen such a mad riot of emotions surging in my own heart as I applauded and ceeteed exuberantly sitting in a hall of people who were alien to the concept of an Aamir Khan film with less Aamir Khan and more film.
RANG DE BASANTI is essentially the story of Sue (Alice Patton) who comes to India to shoot a documentary about the freedom fighters Chandrashekhar Azad, Bhagat Singh and others based on her Grandfather’s diary. The narrative shifts swiftly between her Grandfather’s husk baritone backing the brilliantly photographed sepia overtones capturing just the right flavor of history and Alice’s as she struggles to find actors for her film with the help of Sonya (Soha Ali Khan).
This search of her leads her to a group of four carefree friends who are away from the world doing their thing and enjoying it like hell. DJ (Aamir Khan), Sukhi (Sharman Joshi), Karan (Siddharth), Aslam (Kunal Kapoor) are passed out students of the Delhi University who are not willing to leave the campus simply because they enjoy every bit of their college life and are not very much in the mood to enjoy the harsh realities of life. As the documentary progresses the four begin to realize the role played by Bhagat Singh and company in India’s freedom struggle. As their foe and student politician Laxman (Atul Kulkarni) joins the cast of Sue’s documentary, things take a new turn. Life is fun and film for all of them till the day the unexpected happens…
RANG DE BASANTI is an exquisitely crafted film that made me actually doubt my own screenwriting and filmmaking skills to the extent that I actually thought that maybe I should assist Mr. Mehra for 10 years before I make my own film. Not once in its 170 minutes running times does the film bore you. It never looks preachy, It is never slow and It always keeps you guessing right till the climax which according to me is a brilliant culmination to the point. The way in which the writer has combined Bhagat Singh’s story with the story of these five is commendable. A taut screenplay and crisp dialogues (Kamlesh Pandey, Rakeysh Mehra) is one of the many feathers in the cap of RDB. Add to it a brilliant musical score (A. R. Rehman) and truly awe inspiring cinematography (Binod Pradhan) and RANG DE BASANTI becomes one of the best Hindi films of all times.
RDB is an Aamir Khan film but the other members of the ensemble cast actually manage to snatch the film away from the Khan during several well executed and enacted sequences of the film. Atul Kulkarni provides just the right amount of intensity. Kunal Kapoor impresses with a honest portrayal of Aslam the artist. Siddharth makes a brilliant debut with RDB with an absolutely rocking performance. And for those who thought that Sharman Joshi can only do a style, watch this film. He is easily the best thing in RDB with a powerhouse performance. Soha Ali Khan is a revelation and comes up trumps with a great performance. Alice Patton excels in an author backed role and her Hindi diction is sure to win many hearts. Watch out for her very first scene when she abuses a colleague in her office in Hindi. But at the end of the day, RDB belongs to Aamir Khan who comes out aces with a knockout performance. He convincingly plays a character 10 years younger than him and makes us laugh with that infectious giggle of his right till the very end.
Watch this film in a theatre people. It is an outstanding piece of cinema. I can’t wait to watch it again. Simply Superb
My Rating: * * * * *
Thank you Mr. Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra to have given me the best Republic Day gift of all times. RANG DE BASANTI is the only other film to have tug my heartstrings in such a way after my another all time favorite SWADES.
I have seen people laugh in a film, I have seen people cry while watching a film but never in the 21 yrs of my life have I seen such a mad riot of emotions surging in my own heart as I applauded and ceeteed exuberantly sitting in a hall of people who were alien to the concept of an Aamir Khan film with less Aamir Khan and more film.
RANG DE BASANTI is essentially the story of Sue (Alice Patton) who comes to India to shoot a documentary about the freedom fighters Chandrashekhar Azad, Bhagat Singh and others based on her Grandfather’s diary. The narrative shifts swiftly between her Grandfather’s husk baritone backing the brilliantly photographed sepia overtones capturing just the right flavor of history and Alice’s as she struggles to find actors for her film with the help of Sonya (Soha Ali Khan).
This search of her leads her to a group of four carefree friends who are away from the world doing their thing and enjoying it like hell. DJ (Aamir Khan), Sukhi (Sharman Joshi), Karan (Siddharth), Aslam (Kunal Kapoor) are passed out students of the Delhi University who are not willing to leave the campus simply because they enjoy every bit of their college life and are not very much in the mood to enjoy the harsh realities of life. As the documentary progresses the four begin to realize the role played by Bhagat Singh and company in India’s freedom struggle. As their foe and student politician Laxman (Atul Kulkarni) joins the cast of Sue’s documentary, things take a new turn. Life is fun and film for all of them till the day the unexpected happens…
RANG DE BASANTI is an exquisitely crafted film that made me actually doubt my own screenwriting and filmmaking skills to the extent that I actually thought that maybe I should assist Mr. Mehra for 10 years before I make my own film. Not once in its 170 minutes running times does the film bore you. It never looks preachy, It is never slow and It always keeps you guessing right till the climax which according to me is a brilliant culmination to the point. The way in which the writer has combined Bhagat Singh’s story with the story of these five is commendable. A taut screenplay and crisp dialogues (Kamlesh Pandey, Rakeysh Mehra) is one of the many feathers in the cap of RDB. Add to it a brilliant musical score (A. R. Rehman) and truly awe inspiring cinematography (Binod Pradhan) and RANG DE BASANTI becomes one of the best Hindi films of all times.
RDB is an Aamir Khan film but the other members of the ensemble cast actually manage to snatch the film away from the Khan during several well executed and enacted sequences of the film. Atul Kulkarni provides just the right amount of intensity. Kunal Kapoor impresses with a honest portrayal of Aslam the artist. Siddharth makes a brilliant debut with RDB with an absolutely rocking performance. And for those who thought that Sharman Joshi can only do a style, watch this film. He is easily the best thing in RDB with a powerhouse performance. Soha Ali Khan is a revelation and comes up trumps with a great performance. Alice Patton excels in an author backed role and her Hindi diction is sure to win many hearts. Watch out for her very first scene when she abuses a colleague in her office in Hindi. But at the end of the day, RDB belongs to Aamir Khan who comes out aces with a knockout performance. He convincingly plays a character 10 years younger than him and makes us laugh with that infectious giggle of his right till the very end.
Watch this film in a theatre people. It is an outstanding piece of cinema. I can’t wait to watch it again. Simply Superb
My Rating: * * * * *
RANG DE BASANTI
AWESOME!!! This is probably the only word that can 'somewhat' describe what I can safely call one of the most brilliant feature films ever to gleam across the Indian silver screen.
I have just returned from the film and I am seriously, for the first time in my life... speechless.
Dont miss RDB!
I will post a detailed review tomorrow and yeah it is gonna be a very long one.
Simply Superb!
My Rating: * * * * *
I have just returned from the film and I am seriously, for the first time in my life... speechless.
Dont miss RDB!
I will post a detailed review tomorrow and yeah it is gonna be a very long one.
Simply Superb!
My Rating: * * * * *
Thursday, January 26, 2006
RANG DE BASANTI--- ITS HERE!!!
Hello Bloggers!
I have got the tickets for Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's Aamir Khan starrer ' RANG DE BASANTI'
The film has opened to full houses with all multiplexes screening a whooping 7-8 shows a day.
A massive opening and a film with tremendous hype.
Nikhil Mahajan's
I have got the tickets for Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's Aamir Khan starrer ' RANG DE BASANTI'
The film has opened to full houses with all multiplexes screening a whooping 7-8 shows a day.
A massive opening and a film with tremendous hype.
Nikhil Mahajan's
XCLUSIVE
Rang De Basanti review at 1:00 AM IST.
Monday, January 23, 2006
ZINDA
Did you ever imagine a Hindi film with scenes of immense blood-gore? Gone are the days when we used to see swords and knives for our villains as weapons for killing… Welcome to the new age in Bollywood. Here our hero, a rather rough Sanjay Dutt with an air of absolute villainous dexterity around him tortures his enemies with a drilling machine. The director doesn’t stop there and shows Sanjay Dutt ruthlessly uprooting teeth from another bad man’s mouth and very insensitively slay scores of his enemies. These are just few of some really, really, disturbing sequences from Sanjay Gupta’s ZINDA.
A frame-to-frame copy of the Korean hit OLDBOY, ZINDA takes us into what can easily be called unseen territory in bollywood. ZINDA like all Sanjay Gupta films is stylish, mean and a shameless copy. I had seen OLDBOY a few months and I was jolted by its gruesome and gross picturization. I would have loved ZINDA if I hadn’t seen this Korean classic.
ZINDA is very entertaining nonetheless. It is about a software engineer called Bala (Sanjay Dutt) who lives in Bangkok with his wife (Celina Jaitley). One fine day, Bala is kidnapped and is captivated in a dingy room for 14 years. Bala comes to know that his wife has been killed. He has no idea why he has been held like this… He has no idea who has done it to him… Now Bala has only one aim in life; to come face-to-face with his faceless enemy. This enemy is Vikram Kapoor (John Abraham) a business tycoon who wants to screw Bala’s life at any cost. Bala is freed from his captivity one day and is told to find out who his enemy is. Bala gets the help of a local cab driver, Jenny (Lara Dutta) and his old friend (Mahesh Manjrekar) to find out Vikram’s whereabouts.
John Abraham shocks with a brilliantly subtle performance as the cold, villain of ZINDA. He has finally proved that he can act. Sanjay Dutt makes the film what it is with a rocking performance. He successfully brings out the angst and agony of a man who has been held in captivity for 14 years with utmost conviction.
The cinematography (Sanjay F Gupta) and a haunting soundtrack (Strings) make ZINDA a stylish and superb package.
ZINDA has a couple of deterrents; it has a very silly and unconvincing climax and it is too violent for the average Indian cinegoer.
I, personally enjoyed ZINDA as a movie but I am very pissed with the fact that it is a very shameless, unauthorized copy of OLDBOY. Mr. Sanjay Gupta, when you can make a copy well, why don’t you go for something that is original?
Worth a watch anyways. Recommended.
My Rating: * * *
A frame-to-frame copy of the Korean hit OLDBOY, ZINDA takes us into what can easily be called unseen territory in bollywood. ZINDA like all Sanjay Gupta films is stylish, mean and a shameless copy. I had seen OLDBOY a few months and I was jolted by its gruesome and gross picturization. I would have loved ZINDA if I hadn’t seen this Korean classic.
ZINDA is very entertaining nonetheless. It is about a software engineer called Bala (Sanjay Dutt) who lives in Bangkok with his wife (Celina Jaitley). One fine day, Bala is kidnapped and is captivated in a dingy room for 14 years. Bala comes to know that his wife has been killed. He has no idea why he has been held like this… He has no idea who has done it to him… Now Bala has only one aim in life; to come face-to-face with his faceless enemy. This enemy is Vikram Kapoor (John Abraham) a business tycoon who wants to screw Bala’s life at any cost. Bala is freed from his captivity one day and is told to find out who his enemy is. Bala gets the help of a local cab driver, Jenny (Lara Dutta) and his old friend (Mahesh Manjrekar) to find out Vikram’s whereabouts.
John Abraham shocks with a brilliantly subtle performance as the cold, villain of ZINDA. He has finally proved that he can act. Sanjay Dutt makes the film what it is with a rocking performance. He successfully brings out the angst and agony of a man who has been held in captivity for 14 years with utmost conviction.
The cinematography (Sanjay F Gupta) and a haunting soundtrack (Strings) make ZINDA a stylish and superb package.
ZINDA has a couple of deterrents; it has a very silly and unconvincing climax and it is too violent for the average Indian cinegoer.
I, personally enjoyed ZINDA as a movie but I am very pissed with the fact that it is a very shameless, unauthorized copy of OLDBOY. Mr. Sanjay Gupta, when you can make a copy well, why don’t you go for something that is original?
Worth a watch anyways. Recommended.
My Rating: * * *
Family: Ties of Blood
It feels really sad when we see a director like Mr. Rajkumar Santoshi who has given us brilliant films like DAMINI, ANDAZ APNA APNA, GHAYAL and THE LEGEND OF BHAGAT SINGH to the very recent KHAKEE comes up with a genuinely bad film. What were you thinking Mr. Santoshi?
This is nothing but a launch board for producer Keshu’s son, Aryeman. Halfway through the film the makers must have realized that no one in this country even on their wildest of whims would pay for a ticket to watch this frog-faced and unabashedly dumb version of Sunny Deol. So they decided to cast in Amitabh Bachchan and Akshay Kumar in silly, insipid and inconsequential roles.
FAMILY is primarily about two families. One is of Akshay Kumar who is a cook and canteen owner. The other is that of Amitabh Bachchan who plays a ‘Godfatheresque’ don. The new wannabe angry young man Aryeman plays (rather, tries very hard to play) Akshay’s younger brother. Sushant Singh plays Big B’s son. The other members of the families are umpteen times repeated caricatures of the timeless bollywood mothers, sisters, wives, fathers etc.
Right on the onset of the film we see Sushant Singh ruthlessly committing a murder. The next frame shows us a totally hamming Akshay Kumar crooning one of the worst songs of all times for the titles. A totally senseless romance track (Akshay, Bhumika) and a couple of scenes and a pathetic item number featuring Aryeman himself (!) to showcase the producer’s son follow. After which we see the Big B on the frame and we pray that things would become better… ALAS!!! Big B overacts his part to such an extent that we can actually feel a really, painful headache. Then again Aryeman dances. The headache increases. Akshay Kumar gets killed by Big B. Aryeman now wants revenge. He kidnaps Big B’s family… and the torture continues.
FAMILY is a seriously hopeless film. It has an outright outrageous screenplay, shoddy editing, strictly average cinematography and a bit above average background score. The only two points in the film that really make you feel better are…
1>The Interval
2>The End.
Performances are bad. Seasoned performers like the Big B, Akshay Kumar and Sushant Singh ham their life out. Shernaz Patel who was one of the best things in BLACK is possibly the second worst thing in FAMILY. The worst is Aryeman. He should take over production soon. He actually makes you feel bad for the thousands of struggling actors in Bollywood whose dads are not Mr. Moneybags. Aryeman’s is the worst movie debut in years. Bhumika is the best amongst the actors. (Sigh)
Don’t visit this Family. If this is family, I would rather stay alone.
My Rating: NOT APPLICABLE.
This is nothing but a launch board for producer Keshu’s son, Aryeman. Halfway through the film the makers must have realized that no one in this country even on their wildest of whims would pay for a ticket to watch this frog-faced and unabashedly dumb version of Sunny Deol. So they decided to cast in Amitabh Bachchan and Akshay Kumar in silly, insipid and inconsequential roles.
FAMILY is primarily about two families. One is of Akshay Kumar who is a cook and canteen owner. The other is that of Amitabh Bachchan who plays a ‘Godfatheresque’ don. The new wannabe angry young man Aryeman plays (rather, tries very hard to play) Akshay’s younger brother. Sushant Singh plays Big B’s son. The other members of the families are umpteen times repeated caricatures of the timeless bollywood mothers, sisters, wives, fathers etc.
Right on the onset of the film we see Sushant Singh ruthlessly committing a murder. The next frame shows us a totally hamming Akshay Kumar crooning one of the worst songs of all times for the titles. A totally senseless romance track (Akshay, Bhumika) and a couple of scenes and a pathetic item number featuring Aryeman himself (!) to showcase the producer’s son follow. After which we see the Big B on the frame and we pray that things would become better… ALAS!!! Big B overacts his part to such an extent that we can actually feel a really, painful headache. Then again Aryeman dances. The headache increases. Akshay Kumar gets killed by Big B. Aryeman now wants revenge. He kidnaps Big B’s family… and the torture continues.
FAMILY is a seriously hopeless film. It has an outright outrageous screenplay, shoddy editing, strictly average cinematography and a bit above average background score. The only two points in the film that really make you feel better are…
1>The Interval
2>The End.
Performances are bad. Seasoned performers like the Big B, Akshay Kumar and Sushant Singh ham their life out. Shernaz Patel who was one of the best things in BLACK is possibly the second worst thing in FAMILY. The worst is Aryeman. He should take over production soon. He actually makes you feel bad for the thousands of struggling actors in Bollywood whose dads are not Mr. Moneybags. Aryeman’s is the worst movie debut in years. Bhumika is the best amongst the actors. (Sigh)
Don’t visit this Family. If this is family, I would rather stay alone.
My Rating: NOT APPLICABLE.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
DOSTI- Friends Forever
I couldn’t decide whether I should laugh… or I should cry while watching this movie. Laugh, because I could see that this was a film that was coming dangerously close to Kal Ho Naa Ho. Cry, because I could see that even if was coming close… it was no where close to the brilliant Karan Johar production.
DOSTI treads on the done-to-death plot of best friends. Bobby is the ultra- rich kid. Akshay Kumar is ultra-poor. They meet as kids and become best of friends. Akshay provides the love Bobby doesn’t get from his family. Then they grow up together, fall in love together, five to six songs happen then the cliché family feuds, fights and then we can see another Kal Ho Naa Ho happening. This is DOSTI for you. Interested? I bet not… If yes… I pray not.
First things first… Bobby Deol cannot act for his life. Lara Dutta and Kareena Kapoor look stunning and do their bit to salvage the old-as-the-hills Nadeem Shravan music. Akshay Kumar is a good actor, the only saving grace of Dosti… but… come on… lets face it…he aint no Shahrukh Khan. When SRK does a KHNH, you feel that the character shouldn’t die… When Akshay Kumar does a DOSTI, you feel… man he should die… and soon.
Everything is bad. So no comments on the technical side of the film. Some films are good, some are bad… and some are pathetic. DOSTI successfully forms a fourth category… the overtly pathetic. As the film ended the first thought that came to my mind was… “Man, NEAL ‘N’ NIKKI’ was better.”
My Rating: NOT APPLICABLE
DOSTI treads on the done-to-death plot of best friends. Bobby is the ultra- rich kid. Akshay Kumar is ultra-poor. They meet as kids and become best of friends. Akshay provides the love Bobby doesn’t get from his family. Then they grow up together, fall in love together, five to six songs happen then the cliché family feuds, fights and then we can see another Kal Ho Naa Ho happening. This is DOSTI for you. Interested? I bet not… If yes… I pray not.
First things first… Bobby Deol cannot act for his life. Lara Dutta and Kareena Kapoor look stunning and do their bit to salvage the old-as-the-hills Nadeem Shravan music. Akshay Kumar is a good actor, the only saving grace of Dosti… but… come on… lets face it…he aint no Shahrukh Khan. When SRK does a KHNH, you feel that the character shouldn’t die… When Akshay Kumar does a DOSTI, you feel… man he should die… and soon.
Everything is bad. So no comments on the technical side of the film. Some films are good, some are bad… and some are pathetic. DOSTI successfully forms a fourth category… the overtly pathetic. As the film ended the first thought that came to my mind was… “Man, NEAL ‘N’ NIKKI’ was better.”
My Rating: NOT APPLICABLE
Monday, January 02, 2006
Brief Hiatus
Hmmm... for all you loyal bloggers... i am outta town and the blog will be rolling soon! That gives me a break for sometime and relief to u in the process ;)
Seen many movies.... Can wait to review em!!!
Coming up soon is...
SHIKHAR
KING KONG
DOSTI (Man I am dying to write this one!!!)
C u till then... hope u ppl have a rocking new year!
Seen many movies.... Can wait to review em!!!
Coming up soon is...
SHIKHAR
KING KONG
DOSTI (Man I am dying to write this one!!!)
C u till then... hope u ppl have a rocking new year!
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
THE 5: Best Films of 2005
Well, after screwing bad ones... Lets see which films really rocked in 2005. These are the films that either provided us with wholesome entertainment or showed us what films should be...
5. Bluffmaster
Lets face it..! This is one of the most entertaining films of 2005. Not a dull moment no matter how shoddy the screenplay was, BLUFFMASTER has its own plusses and minuses. Amazing dialogue, Great performances and a brilliant background score are things that make Rohan Sippy's Bluffmaster worth a dekko.
Lets pardon Sridhar Raghavan for the bad screenplay... he has come up with an original story and above all great dialogue.
We love you Nana... Even when i watched the film for the second time... i could not help smiling.
4. BLACK
Shocked??? I knew you would be... Were u not expecting BLACK to be up there at the Numero Uno position..? Watch THE MIRACLE WORKER and you will know why BLACK is here at 4 and not at the oscars. I personally loved BLACK when i saw it for the first time, then I happened to watch THE MIRACLE WORKER... and i was like... What the F***?
Still lets praise director Sanjay Leela Bhansali coz he has Balls the size of footballs. It needs freaking guts to make something like this and produce it on your own. Without bowing down to many commercial constraints BLACK remains honest to the core... and that is precisely why it is here.
Amitabh, frankly has hammed in many of the sequences. Rani Mukerji is brilliance personified as she portrays Michhelle with utmost conviction. The little girl Ayesha Kapur is also thunderous.
How hard i wish that Sanjay Leela Bhansali would have come up with original stuff... or atleast given THE MIRACLE WORKER due credit.
Grow up Bollywood!
3. NO ENTRY and SARKAR:
Well the only other film i laughed so much was Andaz Apna Apna and Hera Pheri. Amazingly funny and entertaining No Entry is the kind of film which you can watch over and over again. Full marks to director Anees Bazmi for making us realize all over again... what bollywood is all about!
The other film that has tied for this spot is Ramu's version of The Godfather. Sarkar is an excellent film. Both the Bachchans and Kay Kay are awesome as the desi version of the Corleones. Dont compare SARKAR to The Godfather... And you will enjoy it like hell!
The Godfather is a classic. SARKAR isnt. But the best part about it is... It doesnt try becoming one.
2. HAZAARON KHWAHISHEIN AISI:
This film ROCKS!!! I have never been this awed by any film. It is a very simple story told in the most engaging manner by Sudhir Mishra with the help of stunning performances( Kay Kay, Chitrangada and Shiney Ahuja) and a rivetting screenplay.
If you havent watched HKA... you have missed something great in life.
1. IQBAL:
This is the film of the decade. Nagesh Kukoonoor has just proved that you have to make a film from your heart... and hell it will work... Come what may!
It is one of my favorite films of all times and It showed me what filmmaking is all about. Great performances from everybody makes IQBAL so real... so fine.
I can feel a wave of inspiration surge in my blood everytime i think of IQBAL.
If i was to describe IQBAL in one word... it would be... CLASSIC.
NEXT UP: TOP 5: The worst actors of 2005.
5. Bluffmaster
Lets face it..! This is one of the most entertaining films of 2005. Not a dull moment no matter how shoddy the screenplay was, BLUFFMASTER has its own plusses and minuses. Amazing dialogue, Great performances and a brilliant background score are things that make Rohan Sippy's Bluffmaster worth a dekko.
Lets pardon Sridhar Raghavan for the bad screenplay... he has come up with an original story and above all great dialogue.
We love you Nana... Even when i watched the film for the second time... i could not help smiling.
4. BLACK
Shocked??? I knew you would be... Were u not expecting BLACK to be up there at the Numero Uno position..? Watch THE MIRACLE WORKER and you will know why BLACK is here at 4 and not at the oscars. I personally loved BLACK when i saw it for the first time, then I happened to watch THE MIRACLE WORKER... and i was like... What the F***?
Still lets praise director Sanjay Leela Bhansali coz he has Balls the size of footballs. It needs freaking guts to make something like this and produce it on your own. Without bowing down to many commercial constraints BLACK remains honest to the core... and that is precisely why it is here.
Amitabh, frankly has hammed in many of the sequences. Rani Mukerji is brilliance personified as she portrays Michhelle with utmost conviction. The little girl Ayesha Kapur is also thunderous.
How hard i wish that Sanjay Leela Bhansali would have come up with original stuff... or atleast given THE MIRACLE WORKER due credit.
Grow up Bollywood!
3. NO ENTRY and SARKAR:
Well the only other film i laughed so much was Andaz Apna Apna and Hera Pheri. Amazingly funny and entertaining No Entry is the kind of film which you can watch over and over again. Full marks to director Anees Bazmi for making us realize all over again... what bollywood is all about!
The other film that has tied for this spot is Ramu's version of The Godfather. Sarkar is an excellent film. Both the Bachchans and Kay Kay are awesome as the desi version of the Corleones. Dont compare SARKAR to The Godfather... And you will enjoy it like hell!
The Godfather is a classic. SARKAR isnt. But the best part about it is... It doesnt try becoming one.
2. HAZAARON KHWAHISHEIN AISI:
This film ROCKS!!! I have never been this awed by any film. It is a very simple story told in the most engaging manner by Sudhir Mishra with the help of stunning performances( Kay Kay, Chitrangada and Shiney Ahuja) and a rivetting screenplay.
If you havent watched HKA... you have missed something great in life.
1. IQBAL:
This is the film of the decade. Nagesh Kukoonoor has just proved that you have to make a film from your heart... and hell it will work... Come what may!
It is one of my favorite films of all times and It showed me what filmmaking is all about. Great performances from everybody makes IQBAL so real... so fine.
I can feel a wave of inspiration surge in my blood everytime i think of IQBAL.
If i was to describe IQBAL in one word... it would be... CLASSIC.
NEXT UP: TOP 5: The worst actors of 2005.
THE 5: Worst Films of 2005
Hey people, As we are drawing close to the year's end... I thought I will put up the top 5's of this year... I am kick starting this string of 5's with the most difficult compilations...
THE WORST FIVE FILMS OF THE YEAR THAT HAS GONE BY:
Why difficult??? C'mon, good ol' bollywood gives us so many choices for it!
5. KAAL
Well this was one movie where animals acted better than the actors. A idiotic Vivek Oberoi with a i-cant-do-anythin-but-look-hot Lara Dutta get together with A wooden John Abraham and an even more wooden Esha Deol and a couple of stupidity personfying friends enter the Orbit National Park on a trail of something... In the forest they meet up with a Kajol...oops Kajal eyed Ajay Devgan and a bunch of really hungry looking tigers just coz there is some kinda suspense building up...
KAAL is full of lampoonin screenplay and a starcast full of deadpan expressions. With scenes out of nearly every scary hollywood film popping out... had it not been for Karan Johar's amazing publicity stint KAAL would have been the biggest flop of all times.
The only saving grace is a brilliant sound design, excellent camera work and the red hot title track with SRK and Malaika.
Had it not been for the above 3 things... Kaal would have definitely been a major contender for the no. 1 slot.
4. Mr. Ya Miss
Antari Mali wrote, directed and acted in this factory film. No wonder Ramu broke all ties with her after this remake of an already bad film, Hot Chick. There is nothing right with this film. Hopelessly sad!
Cant Say more...! I just hope RGV isnt gonna be this looney ever again!
I wish i could give this a Number 1.... but unfortunately, there are better contenders.
3. KISNA
I cant help rollicking with laughter everytime i think of this VERY bad film. What were you thinking Mr. Ghai??
And why Vivek Oberoi in the lead role? The Isha chick danced well though...
2.Neal N Nikki
Read my review... I just dont wanna think about this film again! Bad, Bad, Bad.
1.Mangal Pandey
Ha Ha Ha... some films are made so that they can take this highly coveted position. Bad music, Bad acting, BAd screenplay, Bad Direction, Bad historical inaccuracies... BAD is the key word of Mangal Pandey.
Type Bad in google search... and guess what... The Mangal Pandey official site opens!!!!
Next up: TOP 5: Best films of 2005
THE WORST FIVE FILMS OF THE YEAR THAT HAS GONE BY:
Why difficult??? C'mon, good ol' bollywood gives us so many choices for it!
5. KAAL
Well this was one movie where animals acted better than the actors. A idiotic Vivek Oberoi with a i-cant-do-anythin-but-look-hot Lara Dutta get together with A wooden John Abraham and an even more wooden Esha Deol and a couple of stupidity personfying friends enter the Orbit National Park on a trail of something... In the forest they meet up with a Kajol...oops Kajal eyed Ajay Devgan and a bunch of really hungry looking tigers just coz there is some kinda suspense building up...
KAAL is full of lampoonin screenplay and a starcast full of deadpan expressions. With scenes out of nearly every scary hollywood film popping out... had it not been for Karan Johar's amazing publicity stint KAAL would have been the biggest flop of all times.
The only saving grace is a brilliant sound design, excellent camera work and the red hot title track with SRK and Malaika.
Had it not been for the above 3 things... Kaal would have definitely been a major contender for the no. 1 slot.
4. Mr. Ya Miss
Antari Mali wrote, directed and acted in this factory film. No wonder Ramu broke all ties with her after this remake of an already bad film, Hot Chick. There is nothing right with this film. Hopelessly sad!
Cant Say more...! I just hope RGV isnt gonna be this looney ever again!
I wish i could give this a Number 1.... but unfortunately, there are better contenders.
3. KISNA
I cant help rollicking with laughter everytime i think of this VERY bad film. What were you thinking Mr. Ghai??
And why Vivek Oberoi in the lead role? The Isha chick danced well though...
2.Neal N Nikki
Read my review... I just dont wanna think about this film again! Bad, Bad, Bad.
1.Mangal Pandey
Ha Ha Ha... some films are made so that they can take this highly coveted position. Bad music, Bad acting, BAd screenplay, Bad Direction, Bad historical inaccuracies... BAD is the key word of Mangal Pandey.
Type Bad in google search... and guess what... The Mangal Pandey official site opens!!!!
Next up: TOP 5: Best films of 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
MADAGASCAR
Hmmm... Abhradeep told me to write this review coz his kid brother had fallen in love with the film. An animated film... that too from Dreamworks... After watching the debacles of THE PRINCE OF EGYPT and SPIRIT i had realized that their animated films are very serious... very boring. Though SHREK and SHARK TALE were brilliant animations, I was still not very kicked by the idea of watching MADAGASCAR.
Still i managed to rent a DVD and get ready for what i can safely call, the best animated film i have ever seen after FINDING NEMO.
MADAGASCAR is basically about how animals get so used to the Zoo ambience that they actually forget that a lion is supposed to eat a zebra and not a zebra's birthday cake. It features an amazing array of animals from a lion to a zebra... from a hipppo to a set of really funny penguins.
The real fun starts when the animals accidentaly reach an island. It is here that they realise that they are actually wild. When the lion starts to realise that he is actually a dangerous animal... When the zebra realises that the lion, who is his best friend can actually eat him... primal instincts...
The ceaseless camera moves, the ADHD editing style, and the turned-to-11 sound mix add up to such a cacophonous muddle in some sections of the film that viewers may simply tune out due to sensory overload. That said, the times when the film does slow down, it shows interesting signs of life. Sacha Baron Cohen's King Julien is a first-rate comic creation. His rapid-fire delivery actually contains some very funny moments that make it worth paying attention. His is the kind of performance that gets an actor work in animated films for decades. The combination of the vocal performance and the character design makes it possible to believe that the character is actually saying these funny things.
If the film had followed through on the emotional ramifications of wanting to eat your best friend, Madagascar might have had a chance to match the depth of a Pixar film.
MADAGASCAR offers you everything... but at the end of it... you are still left with an incomplete feeling. It lacks the emotional depth. But we arent complainin!
Though i wish... there was more footage to the penguins!
Amazing film!
My Rating: * * * *
Still i managed to rent a DVD and get ready for what i can safely call, the best animated film i have ever seen after FINDING NEMO.
MADAGASCAR is basically about how animals get so used to the Zoo ambience that they actually forget that a lion is supposed to eat a zebra and not a zebra's birthday cake. It features an amazing array of animals from a lion to a zebra... from a hipppo to a set of really funny penguins.
The real fun starts when the animals accidentaly reach an island. It is here that they realise that they are actually wild. When the lion starts to realise that he is actually a dangerous animal... When the zebra realises that the lion, who is his best friend can actually eat him... primal instincts...
The ceaseless camera moves, the ADHD editing style, and the turned-to-11 sound mix add up to such a cacophonous muddle in some sections of the film that viewers may simply tune out due to sensory overload. That said, the times when the film does slow down, it shows interesting signs of life. Sacha Baron Cohen's King Julien is a first-rate comic creation. His rapid-fire delivery actually contains some very funny moments that make it worth paying attention. His is the kind of performance that gets an actor work in animated films for decades. The combination of the vocal performance and the character design makes it possible to believe that the character is actually saying these funny things.
If the film had followed through on the emotional ramifications of wanting to eat your best friend, Madagascar might have had a chance to match the depth of a Pixar film.
MADAGASCAR offers you everything... but at the end of it... you are still left with an incomplete feeling. It lacks the emotional depth. But we arent complainin!
Though i wish... there was more footage to the penguins!
Amazing film!
My Rating: * * * *
Monday, December 26, 2005
MANGAL PANDEY: The 'Falling'
Mangal Pandey??? Review??? This late??? Why on earth??? I am sure all these questions have popped into your already frustrated-by-reading-Mangal Pandey-minds....
But as I always say... Its never too late to review a bad film... At least i can save the lives of those lucky few who havent watched the film.
As i ventured into a multiplex armed with a 150Rs. ticket in one hand and a popcorn in the other, i
was genuinely looking forward to actually watching a film after a long time. THe last time i was so
keen on watching a film was for Ashutosh Gowariker's SWADES which i must say was one of the best
films i have ever seen. That apart, i was looking forward to Aamir Khan... after 4 years. The lights
went off, the projector switched on to life, and images of MANGAL PANDEY-The Rising started to
flicker across the screen. I raised the popcorn in anticipation and then started, what i can call
the worst three hours of my life.
From whatever two and a half paragraphs dedicated to Mangal Pandey in my fourth standard history
books, all i knew about him was
1> He was India's first martyr
2> He was a sepoy in the British Army who revolted against the British because of some cartridges which had a coating of cow and pig fat which had to be removed by your teeth.
The film however enlightened me more, with facts like, India in 1857 was full of nautch girls, sex starved British officers and their equally sex starved wives, army sepoys who had long hair, girls performing dances on streets at night which can put all our current remix divas to shame...
But the big question is, Is this the true picture or is it some kind of a gimmick to make THE RISING
more of a commercial masala flick? Was there really a need to portray Mangal Pandey the way he was
portrayed in the film? Was there ANY need to show Amisha's character in the film? What was Rani
Mukerji doing in the flick? Was there the need to show the jail sequence(between Aamir and Rani) pre
climax? Lets leave the bhang alone...
There are bigger questions than these...
was genuinely looking forward to actually watching a film after a long time. THe last time i was so
keen on watching a film was for Ashutosh Gowariker's SWADES which i must say was one of the best
films i have ever seen. That apart, i was looking forward to Aamir Khan... after 4 years. The lights
went off, the projector switched on to life, and images of MANGAL PANDEY-The Rising started to
flicker across the screen. I raised the popcorn in anticipation and then started, what i can call
the worst three hours of my life.
From whatever two and a half paragraphs dedicated to Mangal Pandey in my fourth standard history
books, all i knew about him was
1> He was India's first martyr
2> He was a sepoy in the British Army who revolted against the British because of some cartridges which had a coating of cow and pig fat which had to be removed by your teeth.
The film however enlightened me more, with facts like, India in 1857 was full of nautch girls, sex starved British officers and their equally sex starved wives, army sepoys who had long hair, girls performing dances on streets at night which can put all our current remix divas to shame...
But the big question is, Is this the true picture or is it some kind of a gimmick to make THE RISING
more of a commercial masala flick? Was there really a need to portray Mangal Pandey the way he was
portrayed in the film? Was there ANY need to show Amisha's character in the film? What was Rani
Mukerji doing in the flick? Was there the need to show the jail sequence(between Aamir and Rani) pre
climax? Lets leave the bhang alone...
There are bigger questions than these...
1> How could the British, known for their stickler for strictness image allow a sepoy to have such long hair?
2> Does Mangal Pandey, a strict Brahmin, have any reason to have an affair with a nautch girl?
3> Why does Mangal Pandey have to dance in holi, one day before their planned fight?
Not only such seemingly illogical flaws, MANGAL PANDEY fails to strike a chord... the emotional
chord... the audience doesnt feel the agony of the character... like we did in Rajkumar Santoshi's
brilliantly made BHAGAT SINGH.
I am sure there will be hundreds of people who would beg to disagree with my opinion saying it is
technically sleek, brilliantly enacted and elegantly handled, blah blah blah...
I have just one thing to say... It lacked the soul. AVOID!!!
My Rating: **
2> Does Mangal Pandey, a strict Brahmin, have any reason to have an affair with a nautch girl?
3> Why does Mangal Pandey have to dance in holi, one day before their planned fight?
Not only such seemingly illogical flaws, MANGAL PANDEY fails to strike a chord... the emotional
chord... the audience doesnt feel the agony of the character... like we did in Rajkumar Santoshi's
brilliantly made BHAGAT SINGH.
I am sure there will be hundreds of people who would beg to disagree with my opinion saying it is
technically sleek, brilliantly enacted and elegantly handled, blah blah blah...
I have just one thing to say... It lacked the soul. AVOID!!!
My Rating: **
Friday, December 23, 2005
EK AJNABEE
Bang... Wham... Damn... BIG B rocks... Apoorva Lakhia, the guy who made the utterly forgettable 'Mumbai Se Aaya Mera Dost' a couple of years with Junior B returns with his latest offering... A film that takes us back to Big B's angry young man days.
EK AJNABEE is a story of Colonel(Big B) a retired army official with a traumatic past. He is called to Bangkok by his friend Arjun Rampal. Here Big B gets the job of a bodyguard for an 8 year old girl, Anamika(Rucha Vaidya). The little girl teaches the traumatised, tensed and frustrated Colonel to live. Life is rosy for the Colonel till the day... the girl is kidnapped.
A fast paced, bullet blasting, face smashing action thriller is just what we wanted from Bachchan Sr. after a series of serious performances. Apoorva Lakhia and his team of writers make sure that EK AJNABEE looks every bit a Big B film. A rocking background score(Amar Mohile) just ensures more thrills, chills and wham-bam-slam pills!
Amitabh Bachchan rocks. He looks red hot and smashing as he chews the scenery with amazing ease. Arjun Rampal is decent. Perizaad Zorabian is amazing in a short but pivotal role. Who really impresses is the little girl Rucha matching upto Big B in all the scenes.
Though the film is a typical revenge drama in the second half, it boasts of an amazing first half. But with all the action and drama and that 70's feel in the second half... we aint complainin either...!
Worth a watch!
My rating: ***1/2
EK AJNABEE is a story of Colonel(Big B) a retired army official with a traumatic past. He is called to Bangkok by his friend Arjun Rampal. Here Big B gets the job of a bodyguard for an 8 year old girl, Anamika(Rucha Vaidya). The little girl teaches the traumatised, tensed and frustrated Colonel to live. Life is rosy for the Colonel till the day... the girl is kidnapped.
A fast paced, bullet blasting, face smashing action thriller is just what we wanted from Bachchan Sr. after a series of serious performances. Apoorva Lakhia and his team of writers make sure that EK AJNABEE looks every bit a Big B film. A rocking background score(Amar Mohile) just ensures more thrills, chills and wham-bam-slam pills!
Amitabh Bachchan rocks. He looks red hot and smashing as he chews the scenery with amazing ease. Arjun Rampal is decent. Perizaad Zorabian is amazing in a short but pivotal role. Who really impresses is the little girl Rucha matching upto Big B in all the scenes.
Though the film is a typical revenge drama in the second half, it boasts of an amazing first half. But with all the action and drama and that 70's feel in the second half... we aint complainin either...!
Worth a watch!
My rating: ***1/2
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
APAHARAN
First things first... Nana Patekar rocks. I must say this because not once while you watch Prakash Jha's APAHARAN do you fail to notice him. The intensity in his voice... the subdued fire in his eyes... and with a body language that sends shudders down your spine, he looks every inch of the menacing villian in the film. A hats off performance by Nana Patekar.
APAHARAN stars Ajay Devgan who plays the main protagonist Ajay Shastri who is desperately trying to keep a balance between two worlds. One is his own world which is based on the principles of honesty, truth and justice imbibed in him by his father Prof. Shastri (brilliantly played by Dr. Mohan Agashe) and the other is the real world outside. He stays in Bihar where Kidnapping has become an organised industry. The film is about how a honest person gets sucked into a vortex of crime and how he can never come out of it.
APAHARAN is brilliant till the interval point where Ajay Devgan confronts Nana Patekar. After that it becomes on of those run-of-the-mill revenge flicks. A predictable second half and a weak and prolonged climax are the factors which mellow the impact of a brilliantly written and sharply executed first half.
Prakash Jha and his team of writers succeed in getting the real picture of the kidnappings in Bihar without bowing down to any commercial constraints. Prakash Jha delivers yet another hard-hitting movie after Gangajal.
Ajay Devgan is perfect as Ajay Shastri. Bipasha Basu has 5 scenes and manages them OK.
But it is Nana Patekar who shocks you with what can be called as one of his best performances till date.
First APAHARAN and then BLUFFMASTER. Nana sure is on a roll.
A good film.
My Rating: ***
APAHARAN stars Ajay Devgan who plays the main protagonist Ajay Shastri who is desperately trying to keep a balance between two worlds. One is his own world which is based on the principles of honesty, truth and justice imbibed in him by his father Prof. Shastri (brilliantly played by Dr. Mohan Agashe) and the other is the real world outside. He stays in Bihar where Kidnapping has become an organised industry. The film is about how a honest person gets sucked into a vortex of crime and how he can never come out of it.
APAHARAN is brilliant till the interval point where Ajay Devgan confronts Nana Patekar. After that it becomes on of those run-of-the-mill revenge flicks. A predictable second half and a weak and prolonged climax are the factors which mellow the impact of a brilliantly written and sharply executed first half.
Prakash Jha and his team of writers succeed in getting the real picture of the kidnappings in Bihar without bowing down to any commercial constraints. Prakash Jha delivers yet another hard-hitting movie after Gangajal.
Ajay Devgan is perfect as Ajay Shastri. Bipasha Basu has 5 scenes and manages them OK.
But it is Nana Patekar who shocks you with what can be called as one of his best performances till date.
First APAHARAN and then BLUFFMASTER. Nana sure is on a roll.
A good film.
My Rating: ***
Neal N Nikki
When I entered a multiplex screening Neal N Nikki, the first question that struck me was that... How come a Yashraj film has only 5 people sitting in the hall... that too for the evening show and when the film is just 5 days old???
Baffled as an eskimo would be in a desert, I reclined on the chair, armed with popcorn in my hand and got ready to witness what i can call the worst movie i have seen in 21 years of my life...
What were you thinking Mr. Sablok..? Showing a Tanisha nearly naked... and an Uday, who frankly is wooden kissing at the drop of the hat would make a good movie??? If that is what you were thinking... well... I am not surprised to see the 6 idiots who actually bought a ticket to watch the film.
Here is the story... If you really care to know...
Neal(Uday Chopra) is an Indian staying in canada. Since it is a Yashraj film no prizes for guessing that the family is Punjabi. He is about to get married to some arbitrary chick from Punjab. Before he gets married he decides to go on a bachelor holiday for 21 days in vancouver... the aim... to get laid with 21 chicks in 21 days...
So far... So bad...
Now the worse part... When in Vancouver he meets up with Nikki(Tanisha) who has lost oodles of weight and even more clothes. She appears at all places where Uday is trying to lay someone and spoils it. Now she decides to help him out... and in the process has her own plan.
This is it. Thats the story. Bad dialogues, tacky screenplay, a strictly average soundtrack... Neal N Nikki has all that it takes to ensure a flop at the Box Office.
Uday Chopra should stop acting. Tanisha should stop trying to act. Aditya Chopra mustve been in a not-so-nice frame of mind when he approved this film.
And Mr. Arjun Sablok... STOP MAKING FILMS!!!
Undoubtedly... The worst hindi film of the century.
My Rating: NOT APPLICABLE
Baffled as an eskimo would be in a desert, I reclined on the chair, armed with popcorn in my hand and got ready to witness what i can call the worst movie i have seen in 21 years of my life...
What were you thinking Mr. Sablok..? Showing a Tanisha nearly naked... and an Uday, who frankly is wooden kissing at the drop of the hat would make a good movie??? If that is what you were thinking... well... I am not surprised to see the 6 idiots who actually bought a ticket to watch the film.
Here is the story... If you really care to know...
Neal(Uday Chopra) is an Indian staying in canada. Since it is a Yashraj film no prizes for guessing that the family is Punjabi. He is about to get married to some arbitrary chick from Punjab. Before he gets married he decides to go on a bachelor holiday for 21 days in vancouver... the aim... to get laid with 21 chicks in 21 days...
So far... So bad...
Now the worse part... When in Vancouver he meets up with Nikki(Tanisha) who has lost oodles of weight and even more clothes. She appears at all places where Uday is trying to lay someone and spoils it. Now she decides to help him out... and in the process has her own plan.
This is it. Thats the story. Bad dialogues, tacky screenplay, a strictly average soundtrack... Neal N Nikki has all that it takes to ensure a flop at the Box Office.
Uday Chopra should stop acting. Tanisha should stop trying to act. Aditya Chopra mustve been in a not-so-nice frame of mind when he approved this film.
And Mr. Arjun Sablok... STOP MAKING FILMS!!!
Undoubtedly... The worst hindi film of the century.
My Rating: NOT APPLICABLE
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Bluffmaster
What happens when you try to perform a chemistry experiment within in a physics laboratory? To find out watch Rohan Sippy's BLUFFMASTER. Not that it has anything to do with either physics or chemistry, it definitely epitomizes an experiment gone terribly wrong. An interesting story start with, BLUFFMASTER is killed... courtesy a pathetic screenplay(Sridhar Raghavan).
It is primararily a story of Roy(Abhishek Bachchan) a conman who has perfected his art beyond perfection. He is madly in love with Simmi(Priyanka Chopra) who doesnt approve of his conniving ways. One con job and one song later, the girl sees the real face behind the mask... in fact, she sees the mask. Simmi breaks the engagement and Roy's heart.
A totally disillusioned Roy is finding out ways and means to get Simmi back when he bumps into Dittu, a wannabe Conman of class. Con meets Popcorn as Dittu convinces Roy to train him and this is where the fun starts.
A classic combination of brilliant dialogue, great acting and sharp direction in places takes the entire film on an altogether new high. The chemistry between Abhishek and Riteish is simply superb. But as the reels start unfolding we realise that nothing is happening. The story is not moving anywhere. Scenes and songs pop cluelessly from left, right and centre as we sit awestruck(?) saying... What the hell???
And then enters what can easily be called the best thing about BLUFFMASTER. An effervescently brilliant Nana Patekar comes like a whiff of fresh air. Portraying a self worshipping villian, Nana comes out trumps with a brilliant character. The sequences between Abhishek, Nana and Riteish are clever and crisp. As the film reaches a not-so-regular climax we end up thinking... "Man... this couldve rocked...(sigh)...
A good musical score just adds to the flashy packaging of the film. It has a very upbeat look throughout and is technically very sleek. Razor sharp editing is a boon to the viewers. Rohan Sippy does well as a director but is handicapped by a shoddy screenplay. The dialogues of the film is without doubt one of the best in recent hindi film history.
Abhishek Bachchan is neat as Roy. Portraying Roy with the just the right amount of intensity, he gets into every inch of the character. Riteish Deshmukh just proves his mettle as an actor by making Dittu look so real, so stupid. Priyanka Chopra is OK. But the real scene stealer is Nana Patekar who comes out with a great performance.
On the whole, BLUFFMASTER is a decent timepass entertainer. But that's that. Bollywood needs screenwriters... badly!
My Rating: * * *
It is primararily a story of Roy(Abhishek Bachchan) a conman who has perfected his art beyond perfection. He is madly in love with Simmi(Priyanka Chopra) who doesnt approve of his conniving ways. One con job and one song later, the girl sees the real face behind the mask... in fact, she sees the mask. Simmi breaks the engagement and Roy's heart.
A totally disillusioned Roy is finding out ways and means to get Simmi back when he bumps into Dittu, a wannabe Conman of class. Con meets Popcorn as Dittu convinces Roy to train him and this is where the fun starts.
A classic combination of brilliant dialogue, great acting and sharp direction in places takes the entire film on an altogether new high. The chemistry between Abhishek and Riteish is simply superb. But as the reels start unfolding we realise that nothing is happening. The story is not moving anywhere. Scenes and songs pop cluelessly from left, right and centre as we sit awestruck(?) saying... What the hell???
And then enters what can easily be called the best thing about BLUFFMASTER. An effervescently brilliant Nana Patekar comes like a whiff of fresh air. Portraying a self worshipping villian, Nana comes out trumps with a brilliant character. The sequences between Abhishek, Nana and Riteish are clever and crisp. As the film reaches a not-so-regular climax we end up thinking... "Man... this couldve rocked...(sigh)...
A good musical score just adds to the flashy packaging of the film. It has a very upbeat look throughout and is technically very sleek. Razor sharp editing is a boon to the viewers. Rohan Sippy does well as a director but is handicapped by a shoddy screenplay. The dialogues of the film is without doubt one of the best in recent hindi film history.
Abhishek Bachchan is neat as Roy. Portraying Roy with the just the right amount of intensity, he gets into every inch of the character. Riteish Deshmukh just proves his mettle as an actor by making Dittu look so real, so stupid. Priyanka Chopra is OK. But the real scene stealer is Nana Patekar who comes out with a great performance.
On the whole, BLUFFMASTER is a decent timepass entertainer. But that's that. Bollywood needs screenwriters... badly!
My Rating: * * *
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