AKSAR

Sex. Scandal. Suspense. That is what the tagline of AKSAR read before i watched the film. After i watched it, the tagline read... Sex? Scandal? Suspense?

Let me tell you at the very start of this review, AKSAR sucks. A bad film right from the word go, AKSAR didnt even keep me hooked for the first five minutes. Had it not been for Harsh who came with me to watch the film, i wonder if i would have even sat through till the interval.

Aksar is directed by Anant Mahadevan(Dil Vil Pyar Vyar, Dil Maange More) and stars Emraan Hashmi, Udita Goswami and Dino Morea. From here onwards I will be mentioning these actors as E, U and D respectively. I am too pissed to type their names.

It starts with serial kisser E and a very weirdly dressed Umaking out in some obscure fort. Innovative, not really. Interesting, not at all. Then we go into a fast forward by three years. Thank you Mr. Anant Mahadevan for sparing us for the three years in between.

Then E who is a photographer has an exhibition of his photographs. A supposedly suave but insipidly stupid in reality D enters the scene and buys all of E's photos. (Yawn!)

Now he hires E to get into an affair with his wife, U. How predictible can things get?

U is this female who calls Versace crap and claims to make fashion just by wearing what she likes throws nearly 500 vases in this film. I wish she banged one on the writer's head, one on the director's and two on her own head.

After a few fights, E makes U fall in love with him. From the looks of the film, it is more of a lust affair than a love affair. A few smooches and a couple of really painfully bad songs, D catches E and U in the bed. but U is cool with it and tells D to buzz off. The changing face of the female lead in bollywood.

Its time for the interval. I and Harsh were never so happy in a film interval. We bought samosas, coffee and sandwiches. One needs food for energy and energy to watch a bad film.

As soon as the second half started, another song came up and I wished i had spent another 5 minutes in the washroom. Then enters Tara Sharma. I was so pissed with her that i wont even use a T to mention her. In fact I am so pissed with her hamming that i wont mention her in this review again. She is a real torture to bear. The Mumbai police should show tough criminals her films so that they will immidietaly spit out all information at the cost of switching the film off.

So back to the story, the director and the writer realize that there is not much they can do, so they cook up an instant murder mystery by knocking off one of the three leads. Now telling who dies would be unfair but I wish they knocked U off.

Anyways, here onwards, you can see some seriously innovative hidden camera technology where there is a hidden camera, that looks more like a webcam that captures shots from three different angles and also puts in Matrix style special effects. The suspense unfolds but I am sure that you would have guessed it atleast fifteen minutes before the director and writer decide to enlighten you.

Frankly AKSAR is a pathetic film. Everything is bad. D looks too stupid for a businessman, E does his casanova-kiss-lust-love routine and U is just one bit better than the other actress who i have vowed never to mention in the review again.

The music is hummable but not worth all the hype it has generated. Himesh Reshammiya should spare us of his nasal singing. I wish U banged one vase on his nose.

Dont watch AKSAR. IT doesnt have the sex it promises. There is hardly any scandal and you should be in standard 2nd to be shocked buy the suspense.

But i have two people to thank.

1> Mr. Anant Mahadevan who woke me back to reality just when i thought that bollywood was changing(post RDB obviously) by releasing this mindless freak film one week later RDB which is gonna become cult.
2> Harsh, thanks for bearing the torture with me. Only a true friend stays with you during times of trouble. And frankly i have never been this troubled ever. And Harsh my friend stayed by my side.

AKSAR is bad. Stay away or die.

MY RATING: NOT APPLICABLE